Living in the city, surrounded by remnants of its past glories, I occasionally long for the past. The Good Old Days, when men were men, and women were only interested in shopping and having babies. A time when the streets were filthy with the refuse of a thousand tenements and horse poop dried and pounded into brown dust blew into your face. A gentler time of youths in silly short pants and wild all-night boozers at illegal speakeasies sponsored by vicious gangsters. The Past. Sigh.
Well, while I continue tinkering with my Time Machine (currently a fax with a toaster strapped on top), we can all take a trip to that glorious past when women showing any amount of skin openly encouraged sexual harassment with this summer charmer!
Red and White Striped Maillot Suit
From the notes:
If you like to be rushed, do your swimming in this hand knit suit. Even the buttons say “Rich Man!” Fits like a charm, is happiest when in the water and of course retains its shape always. Make it of Red and White Riviera yarn – or your pet color combination.”
I think they had a different definition of ‘rushed’ back then. They also had a definition of ‘rich man’; today you’d probably fall for the first Euro-guido with a trust fund that sidled up to you, but back then they taught ladies to hold out for serious wealth. I offer this brief guide to help when wearing the above outfit:
A good start, but with that gauche display of expendable cash, he’s probably just Nouveau Riche. Keep going.
Sharp dresser, titled, definitely a step up. But we’re looking for rich here, not just wealthy. Hold out a little more.
Better, better! Guiltless smiles, stepping on fellow man in pursuit of even more cold, hard cash; DEFINITELY on the right track.
BOOYEAH! Straddling the symbols of liberty and freedom with a disdainful sneer? HE’S A CATCH GO GET HIM LADIES!
Alright, alright. This week’s pattern comes courtesy of The Handicrafter’s ‘Spring-Summer 1934′ issue, which itself came courtesy of the NYPL (woo, public libraries!). As always, right click to save a much larger image.