To Boldly Go Where No Minivan Has Gone Before*

Walking around Gowanus I was stopped in my tracks by an oddly familiar minivan. Upon closer inspection, it was gussied up to look like the USS Enterprise:

Upon even closer inspection, it was nerdier than I thought; the call number USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D is specifically the ship from Next Generation. NERRRRRRD! Everyone knows Kirk’s brand of kick-ass space justice, constantly flouting the Prime Directive, is far more entertaining than Picard’s Shakesperian diplomacy. I am willing, however, to debate the merits of Spock vs. Data.

I knew it wasn’t the original call number, but had to look up which ship it was on Wikipedia. Am I surprised each of the different Enterprises has its own Wikipedia page? No. Am I disappointed? ….No. Also, you don’t know nerdy until you click ‘discussions’ on any of these pages. A sampling:

“Can someone point me to the source of the “463 m (1,521 ft)” figure for the width of the Ent-D? The Technical Manual, which at a glance doesn’t seem to explicitly list dimensions, does however suggest 388.36 metres on page 20. AlistairMcMillan

I believe this information is in the ST:DS9 Technical Manual; I don’t have it handy, but specs for numerous classes are in there. E Pluribus Anthon ”

“Um, I hate to point this out here, but these timelines (the Okuda one and the Spaceflight Chronology) are entirely incompatible. By the 2130s in the Spaceflight Chronology the Federation has been formed already (in the 2080s) and the Romulan War is done and over with (in the 2100s). you can’t just graft dates from one to the other. Morwen – Talk 14:24, 11 November 2006 (UTC)”

“At the moment there is a *lot* of detail about the shooting models and modifications thereof, and far less about the ship’s history on screen and associated mythology. Surely for a general Wikipedia article, i.e. one that will be where the man in the street goes for info on the “Starship Enterprise”, we should focus more on the ship’s role in the show, the basics of its mission, a little bit on its internal layout and much more on where it has had an impact in the real world?”

Oh, sweet irony. What I’m reading on the discussion pages IS the impact the USS Enterprise had on the real world! Also, it’s so cute how the writer assumes the ‘man in the street’ needs access to information about a fictional sci-fi ship.

*Alternate Titles:
Our 5-Year Mission: Get The Kids To Soccer Practice On Time
Beam Me Up, Mom
This Minivan Can Do Warp 8