Free Pattern Friday – Nothing’s Sexier Than A Floor-Length Tube.

The forecast for spring is looking like a melting cast member of the original ‘Beverly Hills: 90210′, and who am I to stand in the way of progress? This week’s free pattern is something I’ve already seen a number of trendy ladies walking around Soho in…oh did I say walking? I meant hobbling, as with every step they attempted to take on the crowded streets of New York their floor-length maxi skirts and dresses, if not stepped on by their own heels, were trammeled under a thousand pedestrians’ feet, not to mention blackened from the filth that is this city. Did we learn nothing from Taxi Driver?


(The model looks like she’s trying not to crack up, possibly due to dress squeakage.)

Until that real rain finally comes people will continue following the random whims of fashion. In the meantime, let us stick to this slightly more reasonable above-the-ankle-length, or better yet, the ‘midi’ length, which would probably eat up a lot less yarn. Even better, follow the other trend of weensy skirts and make it a body-hugging mini. Ultra-mini! Belly shirt! Whatever!

I’ve also included this inverted image, just because it looks boss:

The pattern calls for Wintuk Sports yarn, a discontinued 2-ply, 100% acrylic yarn. Given my experience with Red Heart Super Saver, another 100% acrylic, I can’t help but imagine this dress must have been exceedingly squeaky to wear. Given the glut of synthetic pants, shirts and blouses available, maybe that was the style at the time? It also specifically calls for ‘Grape’. Call me a yarn snob, but I don’t think yarns should come in colors that double as flavors (see also: Cherry, Chocolate, Key Lime Pie, Mega Mango, Bannanna, Bloomin’ Onion).

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