My casual Ebay search for vintage patterns came to a screeching halt when I came across Mary Maxim’s Junior Casuals (Vol. 28). Oh sure, laugh at me for exaggerating the sheer freakiness of this particular volume, but you too will know the horror.
“Oh, is the little baby afraid of a widdle book of knittOH MY GOD HE’S STARING INTO MY SOUL!”
Crimson the Clown’s dragging that little girl straight to the sewer drains.
As if a creepy clown grasping a child’s hand with an all-too-knowing glance plastered right there on the cover weren’t warning enough, further terrors are found within:
“Gee this one looks ok…oh dear Lord. What…what is that behind them? Did I just see it move?!” You may have, but I bet they never did.
This manages to out-creep the rabbit TV show from David Lynch’s ‘Inland Empire’.
What dusty storeroom was this 1930s black cat costume dragged from? Who thought this would be a ‘charming’ character for children to display sweaters next to instead of seeing the void in the crouching figure’s eyeholes?
It’s saying something when a child leaning on an extremely intense extra from ‘Born to Boogie’ is the least scary image in the batch.
Even Pedro the Donkey screams in mute horror!
What’s interesting is, terrifying costume and prop choices aside, these are vibrant, charming photos. The saturated pastels, extreme foreground framing, composition, and acres of shiny blonde hair make every image look like a living illustration from the era.
All images via Ebay user tundi151.