Crocheting

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Remember several months ago, when I posted about this sniveling thief bythelightofthemoon (toknittowoo on Etsy), who stole patterns from me, Bex and a number of other free pattern sites to sell on Ebay? Remember how I put up the stupid watermark so this wouldn’t happen again? Well, it turns out just because you have no morality doesn’t mean you can’t figure out Photoshop. Behold, a pattern put up AFTER the watermarking:

CLICK FOR BLATANT, ‘COPYRIGHT INFRINGING’ THIEVERY!

Here’s the link to the original FREE pattern, which I will again clarify is for personal use only, NOT FOR RIPPING OFF AND BADLY PHOTOSHOPPING INTO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BACKGROUND. Also, for the briefest lesson in pattern copyright – the pattern is not just for the image, IT IS FOR THE PATTERN INSTRUCTION, so guess what sister, you’re still stealing even if you did make some collages. And you also just blatantly stole a bunch of my patterns and stuck your stupid name over the top.

What’s even worse, this louse has set up her own website full of stolen patterns, presumably as a hedge against the inevitable shutdown of her completely stolen Ebay store. If you’d like to contact her through her new shop, as the email she lists for the ebay store, mariella@coolers.fsbusiness.co.uk, doesn’t seem to work (or perhaps she’s just blocked my email, possibly the only intelligent thing she’s done), please feel free to click here and write away.

I am absolutely crushed by this. This is the second time, after personally contacting them to stop no less, patterns have been stolen from my site. Until I can figure out a better way to share these images with good honest folk without getting burned again, I won’t be posting any more free patterns. Sorry guys. If anyone out there slightly better at watermarking or protecting images has any suggestions, please do let me know.

Also, be sure to tell as many people as you can, internet or in person, that thanks to the generosity of a large group of vintage pattern lovers, so many wonderful patterns are available absolutely free on a variety of sites. In fact, there are several sites out there that exist just to aggregate free patterns. Some have ads and probably derive revenue from clicks, but they at least link people back to the original and don’t try and sell them hogwash. It just boils my potatoes to think not only is someone making a profit off of stolen goods, but someone on the other end of the transaction is getting bilked out of their hard-earned money. Or if they’re a kept man or woman, someone else’s hard-earned money. And this person has already had over 14,000 sales. Times the ridiculous $5.00 for a PDF, that’s quite the stolen income, and until I can figure out a better way, I’m not helping them make another dime.

Again, that thief’s name is:

Mariella Shearer
24A Silver Street
Dursley
Gloucestershire
GL11 4ND
sims@coolers.fsbusiness.co.uk

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Per request, here’s the other pattern shown in a previous post from Minerva Vol. 40. Inspired in equal parts by jaunty sailor and 60s taxicab, the pattern features a checkered collared top, skirt with checkered pockets, and a giant crocheted coat for those nippy cruise ship evenings.

Ahoy hoy!

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Candy apples and razor blades; I remember Halloween. Unfortunately, as evinced by last year’s sorry excuse for a scare, my pattern collection does not and so I’m forced to get a little more esoteric in the search for something in the macabre spirit.

This week’s pattern comes from the very specifically themed 5th Avenue Fashions, shot on and around the Empire State Building. Tourist magnet, glowing beacon, the very symbol of the city, what frights could possibly await at the top of New York’s famous icon, barring a giant gorilla on the loose?


Wooooooh! Wooo! woo. Eh. It’s no Q The Winged Serpent, but tell me that underlighting and sly grin don’t imply she’ll push you off the balcony the second you turn your back? What inspired the book’s photographer to light her like that? Especially given that, in the 1930s, underlighting was shorthand for ‘terrifying monster’?


Eh?


Eehh?


Eeeehhhh?!

At a time when Hollywood had gauze shortages from soft focus ‘glamour lighting’ their leading ladies, harsh underlighting screamed menace and terror. Also it doesn’t help her direct gaze resembles a more modern movie psychopath:


All work and no crochet make Jack a dull boy.

This night, anything goes…

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First, a gentle dip into the past, when fashion wasn’t just worn, but sung! Tra la la la la la la la laaaaaaaaa…..

And now, a disturbing look into….THE FUTURE! A world full of strange new materials, disturbing man-traps, and for the gents, articulated facial hair:

Laugh if you will, but parts of this are suprisingly prescient. Behold! (it’ll help if you read all the following with this playing in the background):

Which brings us back to the past-present, which is to say the present of the past in which this pattern was created, brought to us in the present-present moment of the future, you there, reading this now (now being the immediate present moment of current existence):

It looks classier in the illustration than it does executed in real life, where the model looks like she was on the losing end of a doily fight:

WELCOME….TO THE FUTURE!

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Ah, Easter. That delightfully confusing time when parents gloss over the potential question of what a giant rabbit and ovomania have to do with Jesus by plying their children with sweet, sweet sugar. Until the hippie revolution, Easter was also a time of Great Hats, with a venerable tradition of ridiculous haberdashery in the Easter Bonnet, a frivolous bit of headgear that welcomed in Spring with lighthearted silliness. Excellent examples can be seen below, tossing aside the dour seriousness of winter with increasingly goofy bonnets almost completely abstracted from the concept of ‘hat’ save for their placement upon the head:

EASTER HAT PARADE


(click to play)

In this tradition, here is a delightful pagoda hat, with or without tassels, sure to perch perkily upon your head with Deco charm:

Not coincidentally it sort of vaguely resembles DEVO’s famous engery dome, itself based upon a 1930s light fixture.


(yes it was an excuse to post this image.)
Happy Easter!

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