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Rainy Monday

April 23, 2012 in Ephemera, Life by rarerborealis | No comments

I’ve written several posts in fits and starts, none reaching completion. The longer the delay between posts, the more irrational pressure to post, resulting in panic about the post, resulting in finding any excuse not to post, increasing the pressure, panic, delay, all resulting in a Singularity of Not Posting. To avoid this, I’m taking a suggestion from Cat Party and posting the detritus littering my desktop. This includes images from the aforementioned aborted posts, as well as results of the various Ebay, Google and Wiki-holes fallen into.

These are but a small fraction of the bootleg Simpsons images scrounged up from all over the internet. This one in particular – why is it copyrighted? Was it published somewhere? Maybe MAD or CRACKED or something?

This sweater perfectly illustrates the Simpsons show dynamic – even on the rare occasion Maggie and Lisa are front and center, they look wary as they’re bracketed by an unaware and smiling Bart.

I have no idea which episode this is from, and that’s coming from someone who watched over 3 hours of MST3K this weekend alone. Who’s a precious Kitty Bride?

Stare

STARE

Speaking of Ebay, it’s strange, but if I collect all the images from an auction, it lessens the need to own the actual object. E-hoarding? The colors in all three of these are wonderful to me.

Ah yes. Gothic Holy Mountain is my ‘look’ for 2012. I just need to find the right hat.

An image from my David Lynch party invite.

In the future, all communication will be through animated GIFs. I stared at this one for 3 full minutes. Why? I cannot say – the bus is clearly endangering EVERYONE….I cannot say.

Ah, Jean Harlow. I find the image above, with her chubby cheeks and unairbrushed-eyes, is more appealing, though the strawberry-blonde/emerald green coloration below is very appealing.

Tags: bootleg, desktop, image dump, random

Stupid Like A Fox

March 4, 2012 in Crafty Goodness, Crocheting, Free Patterns!, Images, Knitting, Life, Stitchery, WTF by rarerborealis | 7 comments

Remember several months ago, when I posted about this sniveling thief bythelightofthemoon (toknittowoo on Etsy), who stole patterns from me, Bex and a number of other free pattern sites to sell on Ebay? Remember how I put up the stupid watermark so this wouldn’t happen again? Well, it turns out just because you have no morality doesn’t mean you can’t figure out Photoshop. Behold, a pattern put up AFTER the watermarking:

CLICK FOR BLATANT, ‘COPYRIGHT INFRINGING’ THIEVERY!

Here’s the link to the original FREE pattern, which I will again clarify is for personal use only, NOT FOR RIPPING OFF AND BADLY PHOTOSHOPPING INTO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BACKGROUND. Also, for the briefest lesson in pattern copyright – the pattern is not just for the image, IT IS FOR THE PATTERN INSTRUCTION, so guess what sister, you’re still stealing even if you did make some collages. And you also just blatantly stole a bunch of my patterns and stuck your stupid name over the top.

What’s even worse, this louse has set up her own website full of stolen patterns, presumably as a hedge against the inevitable shutdown of her completely stolen Ebay store. If you’d like to contact her through her new shop, as the email she lists for the ebay store, mariella@coolers.fsbusiness.co.uk, doesn’t seem to work (or perhaps she’s just blocked my email, possibly the only intelligent thing she’s done), please feel free to click here and write away.

I am absolutely crushed by this. This is the second time, after personally contacting them to stop no less, patterns have been stolen from my site. Until I can figure out a better way to share these images with good honest folk without getting burned again, I won’t be posting any more free patterns. Sorry guys. If anyone out there slightly better at watermarking or protecting images has any suggestions, please do let me know.

Also, be sure to tell as many people as you can, internet or in person, that thanks to the generosity of a large group of vintage pattern lovers, so many wonderful patterns are available absolutely free on a variety of sites. In fact, there are several sites out there that exist just to aggregate free patterns. Some have ads and probably derive revenue from clicks, but they at least link people back to the original and don’t try and sell them hogwash. It just boils my potatoes to think not only is someone making a profit off of stolen goods, but someone on the other end of the transaction is getting bilked out of their hard-earned money. Or if they’re a kept man or woman, someone else’s hard-earned money. And this person has already had over 14,000 sales. Times the ridiculous $5.00 for a PDF, that’s quite the stolen income, and until I can figure out a better way, I’m not helping them make another dime.

Again, that thief’s name is:

Mariella Shearer
24A Silver Street
Dursley
Gloucestershire
GL11 4ND
sims@coolers.fsbusiness.co.uk

Tags: 1920s, 1930s, 1940, 1950s, 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, 20s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70's, 80's, blouse, dress, patterns, stolen, sweater, theft, vintage

His Master’s Dead, Disembodied Voice

March 4, 2012 in Angry Jim, Life, WTF by rarerborealis | 2 comments

Several nights ago sitting at my computer, I was innocently searching for animated gifs of the ‘Clever girl…’ Jurassic Park scene when Angry Jim walked by. “Hey, look up ‘His Master’s Voice‘”, he said. A moment later the screen went from raptors to variations of an adorable little dog looking quizzically into a phonograph. “Do you know that picture?” Why yes, says I. That’s the logo for RCA records, and it’s a cute puppy named Nipper all confused about technology. He thinks it’s people! “Yeah, he’s sitting on a coffin.”

WHAAAAAAAAAAT?

“He’s sitting on a coffin. His master’s coffin. The recording he’s listening to is his dead master’s voice, and he’s confused because he thinks it’s him.”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Nooooooooo! This is even worse than that ‘Bayard of Dogs’ plaque at the top of the Kaaterskills! Noooooo!!! Nipper can never understand his master’s not coming back, especially when you play recordings of his voice! This image has now become an icon of the futility of hope and joy!

…A slight bit of freaking out later, further research revealed the sad story behind ‘His Master’s Voice’ to mostly bear out. A stray taken in by set painter Mark Barraud, Nipper was so named ‘because of his love of people’s ankles’. After Barraud passed away, his brother Francis Barraud took Nipper in. Francis noticed the confusion and interest Nipper had in the playing phonograph, particularly in recordings of his late brother’s voice. He decided it would make an excellent subject for a painting, and in 1899 completed the creatively titled ‘Dog Looking And Listening To A Phonograph’.

Francis first attempted to sell the painting to the Edison company, as it was their cylinder phonograph pictured. They passed, and he decided to cheer up the picture with a brighter horn, the kind seen on gramophones. Not having one, he went to The Gramophone Company, Ltd. to borrow one as reference. Upon finding out about the adorable painting, they asked Francis to specifically paint their latest model, and a classic image was born. Apparently if you look at the original painting from an angle, you can see the original, painted-over Edison cylinder player underneath.

It is important (well, important to record nerds) to note that this is a painting eventually titled ‘His Master’s Voice’, something that would’ve only been possible on cylinder recordings, as they could be both played AND recorded at home. That’s how Francis even had recordings of his brother’s voice, because Barraud likely dictated to the machine. Gramophone players weren’t intended for recording, only playing, which would’ve made it unusual for Nipper to hear ‘His Master’s Voice’, unless his master happened to be Sir Harry Lauder or something. Yes, I am familiar with the many Scots-themed songs of Sir Harry Lauder. That’s what happens when you’re pals with a cylinder collector.

In both Francis’ account and the polished PR story on RCA’s website, no mention is made of the dog sitting upon his master’s coffin, probably because people everywhere would start associating RCA with ‘bursting into tears’. It could be the surface is a tabletop, or some other extremely shiny, narrow, beveled dark-wood surface. Sure, that’s it! But the image of a tiny dog sitting atop his master’s last earthly remains, confused at hearing his disembodied voice but not seeing his comforting hand anywhere, is what I’ll now think of every time I see the RCA logo. THANKS ANGRY JIM.

If you’d like to know more about Nipper, here’s a site for and by ‘Nipperheads’.

Tags: history, puppies, records, sadness, the inevitability of death and what fragile remains we leave behind

Saint Germain And Saint Rita

February 29, 2012 in Consumerism, Life by rarerborealis | 2 comments

No, not entries in ‘Catholic Heroes and Martyrs’, but sweet delicious imbibibles.

If you’ve ever gone into a fancy liquor store, the kind that carries no Alizé and prominently displays wines from a specific town in Spain, chances are you’ve seen the beauty that is St. Germain glowing on the shelf. It’s the prettiest of booze bottles, an elegant Deco column capped with a touch of burnished silver and filled with the lightest of chartreuse elixers. What heavenly flavors fill this delightsome vessel? According to my roommate, who took a swig straight from the bottle, burning sugar with a heavy dose of cough syrup. Such is the unrefined palette, though in his defense St. Germain’s not intended to be drunk straight or at room temperature.

Indeed, St. Germain works best as a mixer, adding a hint of sweetness and refreshing floral background to any favorite cocktail. It’s an Elderflower liqueur, a beverage which itself has a long and dainty history (particularly amongst the Victorians, who loved them some sweet cordials). I tried it out in a personal favorite of mine, the Margarita (a true Margarita, not the bastard sugar-slush that passes for such), replacing the triple-sec with St. Germain.

This changes it to a St. Rita, an appropriate namesake given the sweet gentleness of St. Germain tempering bold tequila and its reputation as a liquid episode of ‘COPS’. Following the recipe above, imbibing more than one might also result in permanent forehead stigmata.

This delicious liqueur is in good namesake company as well; according to these fellows St. Germain was reincarnated as no less than Francis Bacon, Christopher Columbus, and Merlin! The Count of St. Germain, while an actual historical figure, was no less mysterious or magical – alternately portrayed as a high occultist or blatant fraud, he was a well-liked composer and friend of the court with a sense of humor about himself.

Tags: boozeohol, cocktails, deliciousness, history

It’s Beginning To Feel Absolutely Nothing Like Christmas

February 1, 2012 in Ephemera, Life, New Jersey by rarerborealis | No comments

Ah, the long stretch of drudgery after the hectic holiday season. It’s a time of sickened overindulgence and desperate boredom in equal parts. What better moment to post pictures from my own simultaneously crammed and void seasonal stretch? Early in December, arriving home and seeing the full mass of Christmas decorations heaped on our dining room table, I felt inspired* to grab the ol’ point n’ shoot.

(*inspired = wanted to avoid getting pine sap all over me.)

Years of family history lay in tangled heaps, briefly exhumed only to be packed back up in short measure for another year’s basement exile.

This is the oldest ornament my family has, from my mom’s family. I think of her as the Sugarplum Fairy. She’s too fragile and precious to risk hanging low on the tree, easy cat bait, so we tend to hang her high. Wait, that came out wrong.

These must have been created at the behest of some well-meaning elementary school teacher – too clunky to actually hang on the tree, but with photos specifically taken for the holiday season. Nothing says ‘Merry Christmas!’ like awkward personal poses.

One small testament to the skill of Grandma Tillie, not a blood relation but our grandma’s best friend. Aside from copious canvas needlepoint, she stitched each of us stockings for our first Christmas. We still use them.