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…the Simpsons-obsessive sprite builders at the M.U.G.E.N. database:

Evil_homer8ygd5gburnsKang_ninja

 

 

This guy right here on Tumblr:
discoccult

 

 

…and everything else getting me through the workday before Thanksgiving. More mawkish thanks will come tomorrow (family, love – the usual), and there will be ample time for a year’s worth of regrets come Black Friday.

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Inspired by this amazing compilation of least-popular baby names, I dug out previously beloved themed name lists found in the earlier days of internet searching. Lucky us, they’re still up.

child names

 

gothiest names
From the full-service ‘Name That Goth!’ page, circa 1996

 

 

hippie baby names

hippy baby names
From ‘HippyLand’, the site that still hasn’t settled on a definitive spelling of ‘hippie’.

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Ok Facebook, I get it – according to your ads I REALLY want to bulk up and only the approval of celebrities can lure me.

Celebrities with weirdly underlit large heads, like Matt Damon and Bruce Willis (here looking like Benjamin Button).

Bruce Willis baby headMatt Damon's weirdly large head

This just looks painful, like somehow he buffed too much and now has a Ken Doll crotch.

that looks painful

And how are either of these pictures supposed to entice me? The first looks like Ghandi went aggro, and the other looks like that poor young man’s suffering from Bubble Bobble disease.

GHANDI NOOOOOOshiny boobs

Perhaps there are keywords I can start using to counteract this? Witches, ponies, sparkle fairy French foodie gentle softness? Poodle paw pat knitting Cosmopolitan fashion pretty. Silky princess babydoll kitten lash?

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I have no idea what I might have typed in to get these ads, but for some reason Facebook now thinks I am all about Hulking out. Apologies in advance for some of the the tininess, but I know not where the larger versions of these ridiculous images come from.

It started with this, a fairly standard Photoshopped Ryan Reynolds, still within the parameters of human possibility, accompanied by a query asking how serious I am about muscle mass.

beefy2

I did find the original image of this, for comparison:
ryan-reynolds-birthday_2

 

Then these two monstrosities popped up one after the other:
wtf

beefy1

What is more hilarious, the ponderous expression of the first guy, or the sheer physical impossibility/arm immobility of both their anatomy? Wait, no, it’s how tiny both their heads look in comparison to their giant racks!

The only mass I currently care about is how many Solar units it takes to kick off a black hole via the Schwarzchild equation, Facebook. Are people really into this? I mean, I know people are interested in achieving large muscles, but just like there are several ridiculously idealized female forms, is this actually an ideal held up for guys?

The Annual Harrogate Autumn Flower Show

Yes, these are the questions to ponder sitting around the table with your family, tearing into a turkey leg. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Wait, one more from the above-linked article – look at this guy’s worshipful expression:
The Annual Harrogate Autumn Flower Show

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lax

Stars Inn Motel:
Stars Inn Motel

The Royal Viking:
Royal Viking

Also:
Royal Viking 2The important takeaway from this is if you are John Waters or just enjoy serial killer history, you will love this place.

 

Bronco Motor Inn:
bronco motor inn

 

My primary decision-making process concerning hotels is a) how cheap they are, b) how likely I am to get stabbed, c) whether I have heard them in a 90s West Coast rap where people get shot and d) how close they are to the La Brea Tar Pits, which I somehow missed on the first trip out.

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