Consumerism

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Just because I was looking for these:skull sprinkles 1

 

…does NOT mean I want to bake a bunch of murder cupcakes or dead ladyfingers. I can sort of understand the coffin pan association (though I keep reading 6-Cavity as ‘depravity’, making it worse) – bones are usually put in coffins, sure. But little icing knives? What, am I hosting a murder-mystery dinner? Do I want to up my death threats to a Martha Stewart level?

skull sprinkles 2

Baked goods acknowledging mortality are one thing. Actively displaying wee edible weapons of death is a whooooole other level of weird. Says the person who searched for bone sprinkles in the first place.

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The wild reaction to Jeremy Scott’s Bart sweater set said less about enthusiasm for his aesthetic (which appears to be the brain of a 1995-era 13-year-old looking at a Delia’s catalogue, made real) and more about the still-rampant popularity of the Simpsons. The current ’90s’ obsession (and I say this in quotes as the younger set has somehow blinded themselves to the time’s prevalence of JNCOs and waffle knits)  and fondness for the Simpsons resulted in a perfect storm of want.

Bootlegs of the Jeremy Scott design likely hit the market seconds after its debut, and with Simpsons bootlegs themselves a time-honored tradition, it’s hard to begrudge their existence. Where formerly Simpsons bootlegs were 50/50 underrepresented groups using Bart as voice and icon/Chinese manufacturers seeking to capitalize any sudden burst of popularity with little understanding of the symbolism, today it’s a small sliver of all-too conscious designers carefully manipulating Bart’s odd combination of major corporate mascot and bad-boy outsider status to bolster their own credibility, and a LOT more of the Chinese-random-stuff-algorithm churning out goods in response to response.

A slight digression – it’s interesting to note the new wave of designers capitalizing on the Simpsons and what they’ve meant still hew mostly to Bart designs, with a few Homers and Milhouses thrown in. Homer’s too much of an adult for ‘the kids’ to appreciate his utter lack of responsibility to anything tied to being an adult (a later development in what Dead Homer Society refers to as ‘Jerkass Homer’). Milhouse makes sense as a newer development – he’s the outsider’s outsider even within the Simpsons world – second banana to Bart, too much of a nerd to be an underachiever, too much of a loser to join the other nerds. Still no focus on Lisa or Marge, as they represent the moral core of the show (pretty much the opposite of  beloved male irresponsibility fantasy stand-ins like Homer, Peter Griffin, Cartman, etc.), but I’m surprised there’s not more Maggie, as she would’ve been the age of many of the whippersnappers currently sporting this gear, was always somewhat of an enigma, and certainly in her Harpo way was another rebellious badass in the family.

Anyway. This is all a long-winded way of saying now that the Jeremy Scott sweater hype’s had a year or two to stew, the strange permutation bootlegs are finally coming up – copies of copies of copies made with no reference to the original, weird evolutions of imagery put out into the world. Behold:

Here’s a photo that I believe was used for reference, taken at an odd angle of the Bartman logo translated to knitwear…

Bart Sweater B

 

This photo from a magazine shows a bootleg of the bootleg, with jagged lettering and weird perspective…

bart sweater A

Note the wonkiness in the eyes…

Bart Sweater A

 

This same photo from earlier was used in ANOTHER sweater post, claiming THIS….

Bart Sweater B

 

…is the same sweater as THIS:

Bart Sweater C

 

Don’t get me wrong, this sweater certainly has its own weird charm, plus it looks like a drawing from Hyperbole and a Half. But it is DEFINITELY not a straight-up Bartman sweater. I can only wonder where the next mutation will go.

Bart Sweater C

 

Ned's New Master Bedroom

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Picture 6

Picture 2

always-right-short

 

 

Picture 5

Picture 4

 

served-with-cheese

Picture 3

 

 

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More stuff sitting on the ol’ hard drive.

ohcathy

just like the hemmingway story(click for a larger image)
This one reminds me of that Hemingway 6-word baby shoes story, but much, much sadder. ‘Cathy shirt, 2X, NEVER WORN.

 

heathcliff in charge

heathcliff in charge cu
It’s the background that really takes this to Spencer’s Gift-level depressing. Remember when Spencer’s Gift was more a dad-joke/gag/cheap magic trick store? Now it’s like walking into Tommy Lee’s head, or a bachelorette party underway at Egypt on the Waterfront in Jersey.

 

king of nothing
Why announce it as a title then?

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I found a number of screen grabs cleaning up my hard drive and thought I’d share.

mercedesandtacos

La Semana Inn is ranked #399 out of 433 New York hotels. For the curious (i.e. everyone after finding out there’s a ranking system), the lowest-rated hotel in New York is the Sun Bright Hotel in the heart of Chinatown, coming in at #407 (the remainder of the hotels have no ratings yet). Complaints range from fake walls dividing ‘rooms’ that turn out to be communal to the ceiling being made of chicken wire, instead of something more solid.

 

kafka review

 

kafka2

I know, I know – Amazon reviews are not the place to look for thought-provoking intellectual commentary on literary classics. I really hope these people gave book reviews including the exact sentences highlit. Lord help the second reviewer if he ever comes across ‘The Neverending Story’.

 

rat body linked to atomic site blackout

:(

 

lesbian republicans

‘Raise Their Profiles’, and yet the photo’s strangely low angle suggests a photographer hoping to go unnoticed as he snapped a photo from his waist, at a distance, across the room. Looks like you got caught anyway, guy.
 

iguessijustdontlikeit

Our high school had ‘Diversity Day’ where everyone had to bring in a dish representing their ‘heritage’ to share with the school. The cafeteria was FILLED with soda bread. No one even attempted potatoes, or any variant thereof, just table after table of straight soda bread. No wonder my flan got mobbed.
 

pitchforksforbride

I was hoping this was a delightful Spanish tradition…alas, just a misunderstanding. I should’ve read more of the didactic materials.
 

SingaporeSodas

I’ll do a full write-up on the insane carbonated beverages available worldwide, but Singapore beats everyone hands-down for most adorable names. ‘Anything’ and ‘Whatever’ are the carbonated and non-carbonated Singaporean equivalent of Dum-Dum Mystery Pops; the 6-pack’s identical cans contain any one of 6 random flavors. Coke also launched a vending machine there recently that dispenses for hugs. Yes, it’s a total marketing ploy, but seeing people hugging soda machines at this point in human history feels appropriate, like at the end of that Simpsons episode where Bart and Lisa secretly hug the TV because it’s given them so much of the crap they adore. 
from www.duffzone.org

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