Consumerism

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Dream Phone

May 7, 2011 in Consumerism, Ephemera by rarerborealis | No comments

Walking past a neighborhood building I noticed a pile of unusually pink rubbish. On closer examination, someone had thrown out the early 90′s girl-targeted board game ‘Dream Phone’, its blindingly magenta cards spilling out all over the sidewalk. Either someone got there before me or the game’s owner had their priorities straight, because none of the ‘guy cards’ or phones were there. Dang it! Still, I kept these:




For those of you unfamiliar with the wave of ‘girl’ games fobbed on young ladies in the early 90s including Mall Madness, Girl Talk, and Dream Phone, here’s the commercial:

(I love that it flashes the warning ‘PHONE IS NOT REAL PHONE AND CANNOT BE USED WITH ANY PHONE NETWORK’ at the bottom.)

The game’s a more gossipy version of ‘Guess Who’ with the added creepiness of tasking you, presumably a teen, with calling 30-year-old gym and mall rats to find out who ‘likes’ you. Whether this is better or worse than Mall Madness’s goal of moving your piece around pretty much at random to ‘buy’ stuff is hard to tell. None of either game’s horribly reductive gender stereotypes were new, though the addition of voice-chip technology was a modern twist:

Oh, GIRLS. Always wanting to shop and talk about boys! Perhaps it’s the lens of time but the dud looks totally fine to me. Maybe by 50s standards not having rigidly Brylcreemed hair qualified you as Hobo McBeatpoet or something. The dudes of ‘Dream Phone however….well, take a look:


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For Want Of A Tape

May 7, 2011 in Consumerism, Life by rarerborealis | No comments

The weird effects of a disrupted global economy would be funny, if the causes weren’t so horrifying. The tragedy in Japan still unfolds, yet one of the repercussions has already hit America, hard. Tape stock, particularly beta (yep, the large, archaic consumer format is still an industry standard) is now severely limited due to damage and shutdown of operations at Sony’s Japanese manufacturing plants. The plants won’t reopen for at least two years, and the delay has larger entertainment companies all over panicking, hoarding and recycling what tape stock they have.

This is a strange way to filter a tragedy, though perhaps the more immediate the inconvenience is, the easier it becomes for the average person to grasp the full scope of damage. Japan suffers greatly, a year from now you don’t get to see ’30 Rock’ webisodes. It’s also no small shakes- entertainment is one of America’s largest and most successful exports, and several major studios’ workflows grinding to a halt would severely impact the American economy.

Still, it’s a bizarre side effect, that the raw material we need to send episodes of ‘Entourage’ out into the world won’t be available due to a natural disaster. We’ve felt it before on a smaller scale; the price of orange juice rising after hurricanes ravaged Florida, for example. It just highlights how fragile our modern state of existence is, how unnatural, to assume the year-round availability of products made across the globe.

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Cover Up

January 6, 2011 in Consumerism, Ephemera, Science! by rarerborealis | No comments

I have a weakness for vintage detritus, especially old books. I cannot walk away from a library sale without at least one oddity otherwise destined for the dustbin.

Each is like an eccentric family member – charming, obstinate, a little worn around the edges, and most of what’s said is completely irrelevant save to them. Below are some of my favorites (click on any to see them larger):


This one deserves a further post; the author admits to a lonely childhood leading to friendship with the irascable prairie dog.


Oh boy! To think, one day women can treat the brave men who venture into space! Truly it is the most exciting profession for women, especially given the other options.


It seems to me this book will be read as long as bored teens continue not knowing how to use the card catalogue. THIS IS FLAGRANT FALSE ADVERTISING.


“Uh, sir, phrenology was dismissed as quackery 160 years ago.” “Of course you’d say that; you have the brainpan of a stagecoach tilter!”

In the realm of Absolute Bunk Studies With Awesome Graphics, Phrenology ranks second only to Alchemy.


I wish I could say this is the only romance novel involving Laird title claims and psychic peasantry written out entirely in a bad Scottish burr, but I’d probably be wrong.


Even the cover color scheme is patriotic! USA! USA! USA!


From the co-founders of the Campfire Girls and authors of ‘The American Girl’s Handy Book’, this charming tome is filled with all sorts of crafts and games kids can make and entertain themselves with.


This sounds exciting as watching slides of your friend’s visit to the DMV.


Doesn’t Rip look like he just woke with a wicked hang-over?


Wait, what?


(Psst, it’s that way).


Apparently they’re really into parasailing.

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It’s Beginning To Feel A Bit Like Christmas

December 19, 2010 in Consumerism, Ephemera, Life by rarerborealis | No comments

This is a charming knick-knack found in souvenir shops all over the colder tourist spots: a little log cabin incense burner to use with balsam fir sticks. It’s the opposite of hippie-dippy patchouli in all shapes and forms. The sticks are short and stout, the smell redolent of pine forests, the holder nowhere near wizard-shaped with nary a Grateful Dead logo in site. You can find them here, along with pictures of the Company Dog which they warn you is NOT FOR SALE ONLY TO SEE. It doesn’t look like the package design’s changed since the 40′s.

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A Magazine Cover I Will Never See

September 23, 2010 in Consumerism, Life by rarerborealis | No comments

Walking past a subterranean newsstand, I saw Natalie Portman, Lindsay Lohan and several other young starlets happily smiling from a bank of magazine covers.

What surprised me was their state of undress- not just skimpier clothing or fitted dresses, but literal undress- floppy sweaters falling off both shoulders, naked save for a loose wrap about the midsection and leaning over to cover any bits deemed naughty, arms holding up a dress falling down.

Why do these young ladies need to pose thusly? Their male counterparts appear fully dressed in impeccably tailored suits, sitting comfortably in a lounge. Couldn’t the ladies also wear some gorgeous outfit in relative comfort? Apparently not. The obvious answer why is ‘industry numbers’ showing the greater amount of young lady skin shown, the more units move.

I would be surprised to see a magazine cover with an attractive young lady in tailored attire holding up a sign reading “Want to see more skin? Watch the damn movie.” Not the best solution, but it’s delusional to think the industry’s going to start selling starlets based on acting skills instead of looks any time soon. The best to hope for is making the exploitation more crass and blatant to at least make people aware of it.

On a slight tangent, Levi’s recently put up ANOTHER doofy billboard, this one showing a young lady’s butt in prominence with the motto ‘Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes’. Rrrreaaaaally? Then how come this, and most of your other billboards, feature skinny blonde women and men?

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