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As mentioned previously, due to thievery I’m no longer sharing patterns from my personal stash. Fortunately for all of us, we live in a magical world of instant availability, where entire archives mouldering in damp basements dying unmourned deaths now get to see the light of day! I can just picture these anthropomorphized little booklets, rubbing their wee squinted eyes at the blinding sunlight shining down upon them, a joyous smile breaking across their faces as a new day dawns and they can finally reveal their particular brand of weird to the world.

The designs and cuts below come from that awkward period in the late teens – not yet a flapper, but no longer wasp-waisted. The overall shape has moved away from the Gibson Girl’s poofiness and fluff towards the tubular androgyny soon to be everywhere, yet retains the length and excessive decor of the previous years. These patterns could work well in a modern wardrobe if done in the spirit of androgyny coming from a number of Japanese designers (like Arts and Science) or by going extra-bright and bold with color for a Finnish style (a la Marimekko).


dangly sides


These three patterns, along with many others, can be found in the Utopia Yarn Book, available free online.

…and then there’s this hat. The kid’s expression speaks for itself, but should you find your wardrobe missing some crocheted Dutch elf bonnet flair, you can always turn to the Columbia Book of Yarns.
that hat

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Remember several months ago, when I posted about this sniveling thief bythelightofthemoon (toknittowoo on Etsy), who stole patterns from me, Bex and a number of other free pattern sites to sell on Ebay? Remember how I put up the stupid watermark so this wouldn’t happen again? Well, it turns out just because you have no morality doesn’t mean you can’t figure out Photoshop. Behold, a pattern put up AFTER the watermarking:


Here’s the link to the original FREE pattern, which I will again clarify is for personal use only, NOT FOR RIPPING OFF AND BADLY PHOTOSHOPPING INTO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BACKGROUND. Also, for the briefest lesson in pattern copyright – the pattern is not just for the image, IT IS FOR THE PATTERN INSTRUCTION, so guess what sister, you’re still stealing even if you did make some collages. And you also just blatantly stole a bunch of my patterns and stuck your stupid name over the top.

What’s even worse, this louse has set up her own website full of stolen patterns, presumably as a hedge against the inevitable shutdown of her completely stolen Ebay store. If you’d like to contact her through her new shop, as the email she lists for the ebay store, mariella@coolers.fsbusiness.co.uk, doesn’t seem to work (or perhaps she’s just blocked my email, possibly the only intelligent thing she’s done), please feel free to click here and write away.

I am absolutely crushed by this. This is the second time, after personally contacting them to stop no less, patterns have been stolen from my site. Until I can figure out a better way to share these images with good honest folk without getting burned again, I won’t be posting any more free patterns. Sorry guys. If anyone out there slightly better at watermarking or protecting images has any suggestions, please do let me know.

Also, be sure to tell as many people as you can, internet or in person, that thanks to the generosity of a large group of vintage pattern lovers, so many wonderful patterns are available absolutely free on a variety of sites. In fact, there are several sites out there that exist just to aggregate free patterns. Some have ads and probably derive revenue from clicks, but they at least link people back to the original and don’t try and sell them hogwash. It just boils my potatoes to think not only is someone making a profit off of stolen goods, but someone on the other end of the transaction is getting bilked out of their hard-earned money. Or if they’re a kept man or woman, someone else’s hard-earned money. And this person has already had over 14,000 sales. Times the ridiculous $5.00 for a PDF, that’s quite the stolen income, and until I can figure out a better way, I’m not helping them make another dime.

Again, that thief’s name is:

Mariella Shearer
24A Silver Street
GL11 4ND

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Now I too know the heady swirl of God-like power the New York Times’ fashion section must feel when, sitting around their gold-and-mother-of-pearl-inlaid table sipping fine brandies, they pull a whim from the ether and foist it upon the world not just as reality, but necessity. Oh, how they must laugh thinking of the poor peon sent forth to photograph whatever random absurdity they declare ‘trend’, giggling as they bar them from reentry until 6-10 photos from the millions of New Yorkers out and about on a daily basis are captured reflecting their warped view.


Celebrities are wearing them!

They’re all over the runways!

They’ve infiltrated popular culture!

They’re on Etsy!


Lucky for poor you, I have not one but several be-pommed hats to work up quickly.

(This picture is infinitely more funny if you look at each individual girls’ expression and imagine her saying “Bitch, please.”)

Bitch, PLEASE.

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Once upon a time, young men had to earn the right to wear pants. Until they made their keep through backbreaking labor, killed a man, were able to pound 3 shots of whiskey, hauled their weight in coal by hand, or some similar marker of Manhood, boys wore gender-neutral shifts. Later, they might graduate to shorts, perhaps even knickers, but full pants were a MAN’s garment.

In tribute to this intermediary period in a young boy’s life, I present an adorable romper set, perfect for a youth’s first hunting trip or to present after he takes up smoking.

Try to ignore the male cameltoe.

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This week’s pattern again comes from the as-yet unidentified 1920′s Monarch book. It’s really swell, perfect for wing-dings down on the campus quad or being a real bearcat sallying a step or two past the fellas showing off your gams! I’d say it’s the cat’s pajamas but kitties can’t get their wiggle riding with fly-boys in their glad rags! An absolute hotsy-totsy number easy enough any Dumb Dora who don’t know from nothing could peg! I have no idea what I’m writing about anymore.

Minerva 03

Now you’re on the trolley!

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