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These gifs are the result of another dip in the Prelinger Archives.Remember folks, your tax dollars paid for these films, and they belong to the American public. Take advantage of them, edit them, or at least enjoy their campy goodness!

Here’s one from the classic ‘Are You Popular?’, featuring The Bad Girl. She is not popular because of/despite ‘parking’ with the boys. THE BOYS! PLURAL!

No wonder everyone at this table shuns her and talks about her behind her back! Unlike The Good Girl, who’s not wearing jewelry or makeup and instantly gets asked out by every guy.

Compared to today’s message of…actually I don’t even know what they’re foisting upon the youths of today- superabstinence? Fear and mystery of the Other? In any case, it’s refreshing to see dating a wide variety of people was considered not only normal but necessary to develop good social skills and learn what sort of person you liked to be with. It did NOT make you a tramp, though apparently it did if you ‘parked’.

The following are from what I consider the gem of the Prelinger collection, ‘Live And Learn’, aka ‘You’ll Poke Your Eye Out: The Movie’. Every scenario shows the horrifying results of…well, pretty much doing anything at all.

The staginess of him ‘pausing’ and checking the canister KILLS me. Also it eventually kills him.


Not a gif but it nicely captures the tone of the film.

This is what I imagine when someone suggests I watch their kids:

I could watch this for years:

His ‘fall’! The dummy! I cut it out, but the part where he gets up just fine and THEN remembers he ‘broke’ his wrist! GENIUS!

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Remember several months ago, when I posted about this sniveling thief bythelightofthemoon (toknittowoo on Etsy), who stole patterns from me, Bex and a number of other free pattern sites to sell on Ebay? Remember how I put up the stupid watermark so this wouldn’t happen again? Well, it turns out just because you have no morality doesn’t mean you can’t figure out Photoshop. Behold, a pattern put up AFTER the watermarking:


Here’s the link to the original FREE pattern, which I will again clarify is for personal use only, NOT FOR RIPPING OFF AND BADLY PHOTOSHOPPING INTO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BACKGROUND. Also, for the briefest lesson in pattern copyright – the pattern is not just for the image, IT IS FOR THE PATTERN INSTRUCTION, so guess what sister, you’re still stealing even if you did make some collages. And you also just blatantly stole a bunch of my patterns and stuck your stupid name over the top.

What’s even worse, this louse has set up her own website full of stolen patterns, presumably as a hedge against the inevitable shutdown of her completely stolen Ebay store. If you’d like to contact her through her new shop, as the email she lists for the ebay store, mariella@coolers.fsbusiness.co.uk, doesn’t seem to work (or perhaps she’s just blocked my email, possibly the only intelligent thing she’s done), please feel free to click here and write away.

I am absolutely crushed by this. This is the second time, after personally contacting them to stop no less, patterns have been stolen from my site. Until I can figure out a better way to share these images with good honest folk without getting burned again, I won’t be posting any more free patterns. Sorry guys. If anyone out there slightly better at watermarking or protecting images has any suggestions, please do let me know.

Also, be sure to tell as many people as you can, internet or in person, that thanks to the generosity of a large group of vintage pattern lovers, so many wonderful patterns are available absolutely free on a variety of sites. In fact, there are several sites out there that exist just to aggregate free patterns. Some have ads and probably derive revenue from clicks, but they at least link people back to the original and don’t try and sell them hogwash. It just boils my potatoes to think not only is someone making a profit off of stolen goods, but someone on the other end of the transaction is getting bilked out of their hard-earned money. Or if they’re a kept man or woman, someone else’s hard-earned money. And this person has already had over 14,000 sales. Times the ridiculous $5.00 for a PDF, that’s quite the stolen income, and until I can figure out a better way, I’m not helping them make another dime.

Again, that thief’s name is:

Mariella Shearer
24A Silver Street
GL11 4ND

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Hello all,

Perhaps you’ve noticed a lack of posts recently. Perhaps you’ve been too enomoured of the changing seasons to even notice. Perhaps my ego’s puffed up enough to assume anyone actually notices anything about a particular website before immediately clicking on to the next series of animated GIFs (featuring kitties, of course). Of late time has become a more precious commodity, due to the slowly dwindling amount of daylight to burn, the toll of the daily grind, and what I’ll loosely refer to as ‘The Saturn Return’. Mark Twain said it best when he wrote, “Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.” I’d hate to think of this site as work, and, for now at least, will limit Free Pattern Fridays to a vague schedule of every other week-ish, or whenever I find a genuinely exellent pattern to write about and share.

So much for the ‘bad news’; on to the good: this week’s patternsssssss(plural) include a most delightful removable Peter Pan collar, a dainty belt, wee rosebud jewelry, and a change purse. The change purse (or ‘compact cover’, to hide the shameful fact you powder your nose) I could live without, but who knows, perhaps someone on your holiday gift list has been dying for some way to keep their loose change just like the folks on ‘Mad Men’.

(Here’s what’s on the table this week.)

Fuzzy Wuzzy is an undignified name for a yarn.

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This will be the last Free Pattern Friday for the next two weeks -I’m blowing this popsicle stand and heading to the Eternal City. That’s right, I’m going on spring break in ROME! SPRING BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK,YEAH! I’ll either be getting very rowdy or face existential crises while looking my sharpest. Why Rome? It’s got the most history crammed into the smallest space for your euro, plus they have way better coffee than Paris.

For anyone else gearing up for a visit, do not do what I did and watch the following movies:

‘Mamma Roma’ (Pier Paolo Passolini) – a bleak tale of a mother willing to sacrifice everything for love of her son in poor, postwar Rome. It does not go so well.

‘The Bicycle Theif’ (Vittorio DeSica) – a bleak tale of one man’s quest to get back the bicycle on which his and his family’s livelihood depends. It does not go so well.

‘La Strada’ (Frederico Fellini) – a naîve young girl joins a man in a traveling roadshow, bearing his many cruelties. It does not go so well.

“La Dolce Vida’ (Frederico Fellini) – a jaded newspaper writer hangs out with a bunch of nihilistic rich hedonists as they try not to stare too hard at the void in their lives. It does not go so well.

Each film painted a more harrowing picture than the next. So instead of a long, dark journey into night, I recommend watching ‘Roman Holiday’, starring the always-charming Audrey Hepburn.

It highlights the beauty of Rome without using it as a backdrop for humanity’s cruelties, though it is sort of bittersweet. This week’s pattern is the sort of dress she might wear if she had another day free to wander. Well, she doesn’t because she’s a princess and they have responsibilities, dammit. But you can whip this up and trot about to your heart’s content!

Molto Bene!

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On a recent trip to a fancy junk shop (also known as an Antique Store) in Carroll Gardens, I grabbed a photo from the top of a large pile heaped in a glass bowl.

I had no other clue as to who these people were, why Mr. Grumpy’s frowning in the background instead of joining the others or why the photographer gave up and framed them all that way, but I had to have it. A wee sign on the bowl said ’4 PHOTOS FOR A DOLLAR’ so I dug around and found four more in short order:

There’s something great about the expression on both women’s faces, particularly the one dancing in the center. If you squint you can make out the larger gathering on the edges, but the background’s darkness makes it seem much more intimate.

At first I thought this was a dad relaxing on the weekend; it could be but the ‘U.S’ and caduceus emblazoned on the jacket pocket suggest a doctor at an Army barracks.

Another great set of expressions. This one was cut to fit a round frame.

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