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hi·a·tus [hahy-ey-tuhs]
–noun, plural -tus·es, -tus.

1. a break or interruption in the continuity of a work, series, action, etc.
2. a missing part; gap or lacuna: Scholars attempted to account for the hiatus in the medieval manuscript.
3. any gap or opening.

For the next season I’ll most likely keep ‘summer hours’; fewer posts while I attempt to make hay while the sun shines (sort of literally). In the meantime please enjoy this belated pattern in honor of Memorial Day and Fleet Week, the twice-yearly opportunity to scream ‘HEYYYYY SAIIILOOOR!’ on a crowded street without seeming like a complete nutjob.

Described as a ‘beach ensemble’, this 1934 outfit from Minerva manages to combine all the ridiculous fashions of the last few seasons: hats worn in inappropriate settings, rompers, ‘retro’-mania, too-short and too-long skirts, giant tassels, and to top it off, a giant pom-pom.

Actually the skirt’s not so bad, an appropriate tea-length nowhere near the silliness of this season’s ‘maxi’ length. Ladies, if you find a need to hold up the bottom of your outfit to avoid constantly tripping over it, it no longer meets the basic requirements of safety and has tipped over to the frippery of fashion. Then again, stripper heels (aka ‘platform heels’) are suddenly everywhere so we’ll probably see a lengthening of skirts and heightening of heels until we’re back in Italian Renaissance chopine territory. My, this section’s become an outlet for bitching cattily about fashion!

Honestly folks, wear whatever you want. If studying clothing throughout history has taught me anything it’s that every form of dangerous, ridiculous excess and exaggeration has been and will be tried, and this year’s model is no better or worse than what came 100 years before (except for maybe foot-binding, let’s not do that again).

Hoy!

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Now I too know the heady swirl of God-like power the New York Times’ fashion section must feel when, sitting around their gold-and-mother-of-pearl-inlaid table sipping fine brandies, they pull a whim from the ether and foist it upon the world not just as reality, but necessity. Oh, how they must laugh thinking of the poor peon sent forth to photograph whatever random absurdity they declare ‘trend’, giggling as they bar them from reentry until 6-10 photos from the millions of New Yorkers out and about on a daily basis are captured reflecting their warped view.

So Say I: POM POMS ARE IN!

Celebrities are wearing them!

They’re all over the runways!

They’ve infiltrated popular culture!

They’re on Etsy!

OMG POM POMS THEY’RE EVERYWHERE WHY DON’T YOU HAVE ONE ON YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW?!?

Lucky for poor you, I have not one but several be-pommed hats to work up quickly.


(This picture is infinitely more funny if you look at each individual girls’ expression and imagine her saying “Bitch, please.”)

Bitch, PLEASE.

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Another Free Pattern Friday, another silly chapeau to add to the collection. Well, it’s not really that they’re ‘silly’, it’s just that we as a society have moved towards hatlessness, for good or ill. Unfortunately I can’t recall the B noir movie it’s from, but hats were once so integral to daily life that when a foiled robber ran out of a store, police cars were advised to be on the lookout for a ‘man without hat, repeat, man without hat‘.


Ahem.

Head coverings are staging a comeback, and I’ll gladly do my part to stop making it look like young ladies beat up grandpas and stole a souvenir. Enjoy!

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