
Look at him. Slick as black ice.
I know what you’re thinking- “My god, two posts in one day, I’m not sure I can handle this much awesomeness.” Well, I’m sorry but you and your petty issues will have to wait: DAVID LYNCH HAS A NEW MOVIE COMING OUT!!! WOOOOOOO!!!! WOOOO!! Woo!
That means not one, no, not even two, verily, but FOUR movies by THREE of my favorites are coming out within the year!(Tim Burton has two- Corpse Bride:
(isn’t that just gorgeous-nothing’s as lovely-looking as dramatically lit stop motion)
and Charlie & The Chocolate Factory). WOOOOOOO!
I’m practically hyperventillating over the sheer glut of excellent filmery I can indulge in. Disappointed though I was Gilliam’s ‘Good Omens’ fell through, ‘The Brother’s Grimm’ is coming out at the end of summer….wait a minute…HE HAS TWO MOVIES COMING OUT TOO! YEEEEEEE!!!! I absolutely forgot about ‘Tideland’! Sweet merciful butterbeans.
I adore David Lynch. Not just his films, the man himself. Have you ever seen an interview with him? He’s got this absolutely middle america nasally accent and has the magical ability to non-answer questions. You can throw whatever you want at him, no matter how pointed, how exactingly worded, he can non-answer it with the grace of a leaping gazelle. Top it all off with an aura of wholesome, good-natured folksiness and a pompadour…the combination is mesmerizing. And then he pops out with this left hook:

This is his rejected contribution to New York City’s Cow Parade. One can almost hear any other pretentious bastard yammering on about the representation of death and country amidst life and city and the consumerization of art, blah blah blah. What does Lynch say?
“I don’t think it will be a particularly friendly looking cow.”
No, David, no it won’t.
Just to up the dork factor, at the 2000 Village Halloween Parade a number of groups created giant puppets and floats based around a theme; I think that year’s was ‘Fantasy’ or some such vague thing. Anyway, this group dressed in fitted body suits and capes comes walking down, bearing what look like top-heavy walking sticks and flanking an enormous, sandy-colored puppet. It’s being ridden by another fellow holding two hooks and that’s when I realize it’s a Sandworm from Dune. Me and the only other person who caught it(some hippie dangling from a second-story balcony) started shouting ‘The spice is life!’ and ‘it’s the Quisat Saderaht!’ while the people I was with tried as best they could in a sardine-packed crowd to inch away from me.
Holy nerdlinger, they have website for it.
Go by your local movie theater right now to see some guy in a tent’s dog wearing this:
