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THERE IS A NEW DRUNK HISTORY ABOUT TESLA VS. EDISON STARRING JOHN C. REILLY AND CRISPIN GLOVER.

It’s like someone read my mind, but they got the casting for Tesla and Edison mixed up (seriously, Reilly even looks like latter day Edison when you stick a moustache on him. Don’t even get me started on Glover being perfect to play Tesla).

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Over at Shorpy’s are pages and pages of gorgous, high-resolution photos from the past. Normally I just admire them for their ridiculous amount of detail, but when I saw this one I realized I knew that place! I never know that place! Whenever they show a picture of Olde Tymie Newe Yorke the ‘before’ is always some guy with a donkey-drawn cart standing in a dirt rut surrounded by field, and the ‘after’ is the Disney store in Times Square. What?! But this time, not only did the building look the same, and the surrounding buildings, but it’s something I pass all the time in present day!

14th St. & 6th Ave.

And that little building grew up to be…a Starbucks and an Urban Outfitters! The El line is long gone and the building the guy’s scrubbing is some weird pizza shop (sorry, blue and white is a color scheme for Greek food, not pizza), but otherwise it’s the same! Fun Fact: the subway there still has the old IRT signs going down the stairs.


View Larger Map

I highly recommend clicking on the high-resolution image over at Shorpy’s; you can see two ladies staring out a window , a window-washer rigged with just a rope tied around his waist, a street urchin who looks like he snuck on the El, and a bowler-hatted fellow reading the paper nearby.

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Despite living all of 4 blocks from it, never once did I visit the gigantic floating museum known as The Intrepid. This was likely due to my distaste for any NYC tourist spot, what with the crowds, the standing right in the middle of the damn walkway gawking up at stuff and pointing wearing three cameras, a fanny pack and an oversized sweater bearing the name of a favorite sports team lightly spotted with hot dog stains, and the potential shame of being mistaken for a tourist, plus a lack of interest in military history.

Visiting the Independence Seaport Museum in Philadelphia was a revelation that floating historical ships are really fun to run around in, especially combined with the freedom to be a gawky, photo-snapping tourist in a city not my own. So, I figured the Intrepid might be a lark.

Planes on the skyline

Firstly, the Intrepid is huuuuuuge. Immense, gargantuan, a gigantic floating island holding numerous planes (big ones!) for you to wander around and surreptitiously touch when no one is looking despite 20 signs saying ‘do not touch planes’. To even board the ship, you need to climb 4 flights of tall concrete steps and cross over a large metal gangway to reach the upper deck. Once aboard you’re surrounded by all sorts of famous planes from around the world.
Tiger Plane
Tiger plane!

Plane Decals
They did a good job sticking the decals on straight.

Uhh...
Families from all over posed and took photos, though I’m not sure what this mom was going for. Walking down to the main floor of the museum, you run right into this:

Whoa there.
Boo! Kids really enjoyed ‘shooting’ everyone in their family as they came down the steps. Ah, childhood. The main museum has lots of flashy BS with long lines like flight simulators and a ’4-D’ movie from the point of view of a kamikaze, leaving the cases of genuine artifacts relatively unobstructed. These are badges of various departments on the ship:

Badge CVA11

Badge VF 33 Line

Badge Power Crew

Badge VF-173

Badge Barber Shop

They also had scrapbooks, souvenirs, notes, and memos:
Santa's coming!

Hey Sailor

From there you could walk into the officer’s sleeping quarters and beyond that, the chain room:
Going Up!

Chain Room

Roadrunner chains
This was painted on one of the chain pulleys.

Down another deck was an Au Bon Pan. Yep, just like the sailors used to sit at! Down a hall littered with odd signery was the actual mess hall, complete with piped-in audio of sailors chowing down.

Sponsered By Budweiser!

Not For Firefighting

Very 70s Chow Room
A sign informed us an enthusiastic sailor decorated the different parts of the mess area using the limited materials at hand. This was the ‘Western’ section, but there was also a ‘Cafe’ area and an ‘Al Fresco’ scene.

Back upstairs, an upper level led to the main control rooms.
Tonkin Gulf Yacht Club

Going Down

Do Not Push Buttons

Glowing Dials!

Somehow this is too complicated.
Somehow they made an On/Off switch too complicated.

An old man sat in the main control area telling stories of yore and fielding a combination of silly/ignorant/random questions from the crowd gathered around. Despite repeatedly mentioning he’d started in the Navy on the Intrepid in 1953, he was congratulated several times for serving in WWII.

What’s a run around an educational historical thing for if not the gift shop? Though plenty of ship models and military hats were available, they also had several racks of street name stickers, with absolutely no military or nautical relation to anything:
Jesus Street

Sexxxy Senior Street
Ugh. I do not want to live on that street.

Walking out I ran into several groups of Boy Scouts meeting up for an Intrepid sleep-over. Could anything be more American? Oh yeah, there was also a hot-dog vendor with an eagle flying over an American flag nearby. USA! USA! USA!

18G Shocker - They'll never see it coming.
This was a sticker on one of the captains’ room doors, I wonder what they meant by OHMYGOD LOOK OUT!!!!
OH SHIIIIIT!

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Amongst the many fun things acquired at MOCCA was a newfound obsession over ‘Hark: A Vagrant!‘ Unlike 99% of things calling themselves webcomics, it’s enjoyably drawn and entertaining. It’s history! And cute things! What more could you want from life?

garfieldfinal
(click for a larger version)

What with me being American a lot of the Canadian history goes over my head, but it’s so entertaining I’m almost willing to Wiki it.

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Walking around Brooklyn I came across structurally identical buildings covered in a variety of faces, one painted demure white, the other an almost lurid shade of mustard yellow.

Mustard Viking

Mustard Viking Split Beard

The faces on the yellow building look more Nordic, Viking-like, while on the paler building they lean more towards stuffy English gentlemen of the 17th century.

Captain Mustache

Admiral Snootbottom

Lord Prissypants

Sir Thistlewig the Third
This fellow’s the lone exception, looking like he stepped out of the relatively modern late 1800s.

Another building nearby sported a tropical portal to Middle Earth:
Dragon Door

Dragon Lamp!
…and a closer view.

Over in Central Park, a manhole in the middle of an otherwise grassy knoll broke the pleasant illusion of country.
Fancy Man Hole

Of course, the gigantic obelisk sitting a few feet away also did the trick.
Cleopatra's Needle

Known as Cleopatra’s Needle, the obelisk is an honest-to-goodness relic of antiquity, a gift to New York City (insisted upon after Paris and London got their own needle. Jealous much?)
Cleopatra's Needle

It’s pretty hard not to take an epic picture of this thing; even the bad photos make it look like the obelisk from ’2001: A Space Odyssey’.
Cleopatra's Crabby prop

Far, far far more important than any silly bit of history, THIS TUNNEL WAS TOTALLY IN THAT EPISODE OF LAW & ORDER: SVU WHERE JERRY LEWIS PLAYED MUNCH’S UNCLE!
IT'S TOTALLY THE TUNNEL FROM LAW & ORDER SVU!!!

Jerry Lewis, we're coming to get you.

I can’t find any video of it but I’m pretty damn sure that’s the tunnel where they found him sleeping in his own filth surrounded by murder clippings. Ah, Law and Order: SVU, leaving no corner of the city untainted by murder and depravity.

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