…So it won’t matter we’re about 2 weeks into November when I post this. This year’s Halloween was a four-day marathon of hanging out with people, going to parties both fun and lame, and cosutmed hi-jinx. The most fun was had going down to Greenwood Cemetary, New York’s second oldest, located in Brooklyn. I wasn’t sure when they closed, but figured it’d be a great way to spend Sunday afternoon with my sister Melissa. Nick and Dan came along, as did Mikka, Nick’s fun and friendly roommate.
Melissa called up and said Bryce was coming along, and could we please meet at Pizzeria Uno? Uh, ok, sure. She was ‘starving’ and I guess Pizzeria Uno pizzas have the special nutritional balance to restore your electrolytes. As we headed over, we ran into Thomas, a co-worker of Mel’s and friend of ours. Would he care to join us on our venture? He certainly would! He also wanted Nick to draw ‘Irish’ tattoos all over him for his costume- a guy who was really into being Irish.
We’d ordered everything to go, for the sun was setting and I feared we’d get there to find closed gates. When they finally showed up, Mel pointed out the foolishness of eating deep-dish pizza from a box and walking, plus she was starrrrrrrrviiiiiing!!! Okay then. We ate our to-go pies sitting down, while Mel and Bryce ordered another pie. Pizzeria Uno’s stuff looks small, but it is so disgustingly greasy and fatty you really can’t eat more than 2 slices without feeling vaguely nauseous. So by the time their pie came out, no one could stomach looking at it, forget eating another bite. We wrapped it up, and with a quick stop at Ricky’s for fake tattoo equipment, hopped on the train. The sun was casting long shadows, and we came to an agreement- the second we got there, we’d bolt for the gates and even if they were about to close run in as far as we could. They’d have to drag us out. During the 40-minute ride, Nick drew a Guiness, a lyre, a bunch of shamrocks, the Red Sox logo, and a knuckle tattoo that said ‘ERIN GBRA’ on Thomas.
The train drops you off a mere block away from the cemetary, and the whole place smells like yummy bread from a bakery nearby. There’s a beautiful glass-domed building that sells flowers, headstones and monuments just across the street from Greenwood that dates from the turn of the century. Mikka and I noted it’s lovely structure as we ran past. Everyone else were being lazy piles, while we scooted past the still-open front gates and up to the amazingly beautiful gothic entryway. The bored guard sitting there informed us we had 40 minutes until the park(Greenwood was designed as a walking cemetary) closed. Super!
Once the troops were rallied(ie they finally caught up), we followed the plan- wander in as deeply as possibly and have them drag us out. Of course, security turned out to be 3 guys who were far less zealous about their job than they should have been on Mischief Night. As we walked in we realized, perhaps we should have thought this out more. The sky was quickly darkening, and we were entering the one chunk of city without any kind of lights, filled with easily trippable-over headstones. Eh. We walked in until we couldn’t see anymore, coming across a life-sized bear sculpture sitting on one headstone, a few ‘eternal flame’ monuments without the flames, a number of broken columns, angels, spheres, upside-down torches, etc. etc. etc.
About an hour in, ducking every time we saw headlights or scurrying behind the nearest monument, Nick started taking pictures. Taking pictures in the dark is sort of great, because both you and whoever’s the subject are both surprised with what happens. Unfortunately the flash blinded us, so there was some stumbling…At one point we did see lights. It was the small cathedral in the middle of the cemetary. We crept in, expecting, well, someone, but it was completely empty. All the lights were on, even the ones in the locked rooms, and pretty organ music was coming from the surrounding speakers.
I think this looks like an album cover.
Eventually we got a little creeped out, and we saw headlights coming. We still wanted to see what I described as the cemetary’s gaudiest monument: the grave of John Matthews, inventor of carbonated water and designer of the long-defunct ‘soda fountains’ in the literal sense, which his monument was modelled after. You can read a fascinating article about the man and his gravestone here.
A few minutes walking based on my very vague recollections from a tour taken 3 years ago led us right to it. It’s pretty hard to miss, once you’re in the vicinity. We passed where they used to store the bodies in fall and winter, when the ground was too hard to dig, went around a reflecting pond(with a large sign readong NON POTABLE WATER; well, duh), and climbed up a steep incline. There it was, in all it’s dog-gargoyled hideousness.
After that, we wandered out past the guards who were nice enough to unlock the bathrooms for us. I’m wondering why they didn’t think it odd that 2 hours past closing a bunch of kids just came out of the dark. Maybe we looked friendly. We stopped at a Dunkin’ Donuts for coffee, getting to observe Brooklyn’s population in their natural habitat. I ended up sharing my ‘latte’ with Thomas- mistakenly ordering a ‘large’ I was handed an absurdly ginormous cup filled with caffinated liquid.
Halloween itself was a bit more scattered, but we still ended up seeing loads of awesome costumes. This was the first thing I passed when I went out for the day, and I took it as a good omen:
In addition to their usual Sam Jackson or Whoopie Goldberg statue, Madame Tussad’s put out Bela Lugosi standing apart from the rest of the museum.
Images!
This is the fellow who works at the Ave. A bookstore that’s more of a hole in the wall(literally). He was a bunny but I thought he was the kid from ‘Gummo’.
Shady, shady Nicholas.
These are some cupcakes I made. Yep.
Yeah, this movie’s a little over the top but it strongly appeals to my inner-angry 15 year old. I still love it. They’re posing with Nick as Reaganomics holding one of my intertitles.
