horror

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Considering a fondness for cheesy Italian giallo, pulpy horror movies and luchador-styled masked superheros, plus having sought out the original Fantomàs and Les Vampires series, how did I not come across Italian photo-comic ‘Killing’ (aka Satanik en Francès) sooner?

The premise is pretty straightforward- sadistic masked killer Killing goes around offing mostly undressed ladies in a variety of gruesome ways, while the detective chasing him remains just a step behind. (All photos courtesy of Dr. Odio’s Flickr stream, which has many more images.)

It lacks the random charm of ‘Les Vampires’ and class of ‘Fantòmas’, but seems fairly standard for Italian horror. Which is to say it’s wildly misogynistic and ultraviolent. Fun fact: Italian apparently has a female form of ‘bastard’, used quite liberally here!

Killing was also a big pop figure in Turkish movies, going under the name Kilink and starring in ‘Soy ve Öldür’, aka ‘Strip & Kill’, which hewed closely to the comic.

This was followed in typical Turkish fashion by movies that bore little resemblance to the original while infringing on multiple copyrights, like ‘Kilink Ucan Adama Karsi’, aka ‘Killing vs. The Flying Man’, who’s basically Turkish Superman.

A now-defunct site called ‘Go Sadistik’ created this trailer promising oodles of Sadistik comics and videos, but alas, no trace remains.

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I’m not sure what’s my favorite- the part where the punks are slam dancing in the middle of a New York street (before getting slammed into by an evil hovercraft), or when the rich jerks’ car gets sucked under (by an evil hovercraft). You know what, it’s actually where the golfer’s security guard gets thrown forward right into a tree (by an evil hovercraft. Hovercraft.)

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“Is the Sentinal the only thing that stand between the mortal world and the torment of hell? Between happiness…and HORROR?!”

the sentinal, the horror
(This image comes up exactly as the narrator says ‘horror’. Clearly a denzin of Hell.)

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Surprise Asteroid Makes Near-Miss of Earth

Wait! Did you hear that whooshing sound?

A small asteroid buzzed by Earth Monday, though only real astronomy geeks in the Pacific would have noticed.

The rock, estimated to be no more than 200 feet wide, zoomed past our planet at an altitude of 40,000 miles at 1:44 p.m. universal time — or 8:44 EST.

Dubbed 2009 DD45, it was discovered only on Friday by Australian astronomers.

Forty thousand miles may sound like a lot, but it’s only about one-seventh of the way to the moon, and less than twice as far out as many telecommunications satellites.

Had 2009 DD45 hit the Earth, it would have exploded on or near the surface with the force of a large nuclear blast — not very reassuring when you consider humanity had only about three days’ notice.

The link is to a more scientific article, but the text above is from Fox News, whence also came this gem:

According to the Australian news Web site Crikey, the asteroid is likely to be drawn in by Earth’s gravity, meaning it may return for many more near misses in the future.

First of all, Fox News gets ITS news from a WEB SITE called ‘Crikey’ (which you have to shout in an Australian accent). Secondly, A HUGE FUCKING ROCK ALMOST HIT EARTH YESTERDAY AND NO ONE THOUGHT TO TELL ANYONE?!?!?! Perhaps it was for the best, given my all-caps reaction after the rock passed by safely. Still though, we now know should anything terrible really be going down we will not be told until after it happens, alive or dead. The space chunk is estimated to come back about 2029, so in your face, 2012-ers. That’s assuming, of course, that we survive the near-collision predicted in 2014, 2016, and 2021. Waaaaah.

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Monster Squad Reunion!!!

Yes, for those of you in the swank Cherry Hills area of Jersey, you can spend your Valentine’s Day weekend rubbing elbows with members of the infamous Monster Squad! Oh, and if you care about those sort of things Brad Dourif(both Voice of Chucky and Wormtail; I did not know that), Emily Perkins from ‘Gingersnaps’, and Crispin Glover will be there(though, if you missed his amazing slideshow, you might as well go punch yourself in the head now). Ooh la la, Tom Savini’s going to show up as well.

I think my siblings and I must’ve watched ‘Monster Squad’ a hundred times growing up. Along with ‘Little Monsters’, it was one of those tapes our parents threw in the VCR to drown out the noise of us probably breaking things. As far as mashing up all the Universal horror classics, ‘Monster Squad’ is lightyears ahead of such dreck as ‘VanHelsing’, and has the added cheese inherent to all 80′s family movies. When you’re the kids’ age, the plot where they’re totally on top of whatever’s endangering their town and the grownups ignore them until it’s too late is extremely appealing. On a slightly random tangent, if anyone owns/knows where I can procure the ‘Stephen King Fanclub’ shirt worn by the young protagonist I will pay good money.


Dang it! There it sort of is! Did not one obsessive internerd get a decent screencap of this?

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