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Some time ago on the internet I came across a gigantic triangle necklace retailing for the ungodly sum of $300 dollars. It was just a giant metal triangle dangling from some non-magical cord, and it didn’t even light up or have embedded fancy stones. Like David Bowie before me I took one look and thought, “I can do better than that”.

One outing to Metalliferous and 20 minutes later, I DID. The level of skill involved was about the same as kindergarten-style stringing beads on a shoelace, and most of the 20 minutes was waiting for the glue to dry. Wearing the necklace around my neighborhood I get at least one ‘YO, ILLUMINATI!’ per outing (usually followed by a flash of the Hova sign), and it seems selfish to hoard such joys. So forthwith are instructions to make your own sigil of secret initiation (mystical handshake instructions not included).

You Will Need:

-1 stick of 1/8″ square brass tubing
(found at most art supply stores, some hardware stores, and definitely any place with an architecture/model building section. If you want to use a thicker cord, use wider tubing- it comes in all sizes)

- 9 feet of 1/16″ thick cording
(I used three strands held together of some elastic cording I had about for this necklace; you can use leather, cotton, embroidery floss, whatever you’d like. If you want to use a single thicker strand, you only need 3-4 ft. at most)

-A metal tube deely
(Home Depot’s plumbing aisle is a goldmine of random metal bits to use for jewelry. I’m fond of brass barb connectors in all sizes, but anything termed ‘brass nipples’ (hee, tee hee hee hee) will work as well. I specifically used the 1 1/2″ guy from this pack, again, because I had it about already. Any metal tube about 1/4″ in internal diameter that won’t stab your neck will work just fine. Heck, pick up some extra brass tubing and use that)

-E6000 glue

-Heavy Duty sandpaper
(60-80 grit should do the trick, preferably a type intended for ‘metal deburring’. A dremel with a deburring attachment will also work)

-a coping saw, hacksaw or jewelry saw
(A dremel with a metal-cutting attachment will do too. If you’re using the coping or hacksaw, you can pick up metal-cutting blades at most hardware stores, though the regular blades will also do the trick)

Great! So you’ve got your supplies together and are ready to begin your ascension to higher planes of wisdom and flair. I’ve drawn the steps below; click any for larger images.

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When visiting the Strand, I usually end up in their 3rd floor Rare Books room. This is partly because the room is accessible only via one elevator, making me feel slightly badass and spy-like just walking into it, much like discovering a hidden room in a video game. It’s partly because entrants are left free to roam in a sizable, open room smelling pleasantly of old leather and paper, FILLED WITH RARE BOOKS.

The rarest of the rare are displayed behind thick glass in an old-timey bank vault next to the main desk. Here you’ll find your Mark Twain signed first editions and rare monographs handwritten by former kings. Otherwise, everything else is out in the open. You can just wander around leafing through early editions of ‘On The Road’, children’s books from Soviet Russia, or pulp Victorian romance novels with ornate jewel covers. There’s even a tiny room in the back filled with books so ancient they disintegrate before your very eyes (it smells very nice though).

Now, ‘rare’ doesn’t always translate to ‘unaffordable’. Rare just means something you don’t come across very often, something there’s not very much of. This is an irresistible proposition to me, the possibility of having what may be the ONLY COPY LEFT of something, even if that something has little or no practical application or resell value. Actually, especially if it’s impractical with little resell value. Imagine my joy then, after wandering around looking at lovely and far too expensive tomes, to come across this baby on a shelf for a mere $15.00:

‘How To Click Before The Camera’ is a 1949 step-by-step guide for models on posing. I’m not sure why it’s so rare – the back page implies this was one of several booklets the company sold regularly, and How To Click seems the most comprehensive of those offered. In any event it’s a treasure trove of surreal imagery – floating heads, disembodied limbs standing on clock faces, and articulated mouth gestures with strange phrasings beneath.

Seeing as the magazine’s apparently so rare I thought I’d share the whole book right here, so in the unlikely event my computer and apartment simultaneously spontaneously combust, the world can go on learning which poses are FOR EXOTIC HIGH FASHION ONLY. Please, use this knowledge wisely.

Click to learn the dark secrets of ‘How To Click’.

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