scary

I was innocently searching for an image of lil’ Drew Barrymore in ‘Firestarter’:

(there she is; if her biography serves me correctly she was already doing lines during this production)

…when I came across this:

Never one to let an odd image go by without delving, I clicked and lo, found myself at Character Translations. The name was vague enough to make me think ah, they must have a colorful mascot, perhaps they work with firefighters or it’s some sort of pun on kerning I don’t understand. No. Oh no. They MAKE mascots, to order. Any order.

They can’t be completely blamed for some of the terrifying creatures they make. From the looks of it it’s high-quality stuff- I imagine making a 3-dimensional rendering of a design is difficult enough; this is compounded with mobility, flexibility, and sweat issues. However, did no one stop to think how absolutely creepy 20X larger than normal sexy floppy discs might be?

Or this fellow, shown next to the design picture (which I guarantee was the winner of a school contest)? It’s too close to the erotic ‘centaur’ and horse fantasy stuff out there, even if it’s TOTALLY unintentional. Man, furries have ruined anthropomorphic EVERYTHING for me. Oh, and as Jim pointed out, they messed up the hands shown in the illustration, giving the guy hooves instead. Is that messing it up? It’s a horse-man; I have no idea. He figured the conversation would go thusly:

“DID I ASK FOR HOOF-HANDS?!? How the hell am I supposed to hold a football with these?!”

…I don’t even know what the hell this is. And why do space things ALWAYS have three eyes?! From an evolutionary standpoint one eye sites predators, two gives depth perception, and anything more is just another infection portal straight to your brain.

It’s Victorian Wall. E. Weasel!

They even did the NYU Bobcat mascot, which I’m not posting here so as not to have traumatic flashbacks to the few mass-NYU events I attended.