simpsons

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Where it is revealed Marge is actually a rabbit.
marge-skeleton

Just the skeleton:
lisaskeleton

And some coporeality:
lisaskeletonimproved

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To start the new year afresh, I hereby purge these random images haunting my desktop. Make of them what you will.

 

family drama

I don’t know what show this referred to, but I don’t want to – the show I imagined is a lot better (it involves roommates Criss Angel, David Blaine and The Crow working at a coffee shop trying to make it in The Big City.)

Picture 1

From an unfinished animation project.

 

portrait 2

portrait 1

Screencaps from an unwittingly homoerotic 70s version of ‘The Portrait of Dorian Gray’.

driving in my car

M A D N E S S

033

032

009

Handwriting Analysis – the analysis where everyone loses!

pc-fish-in-air

I tried finding out more about this but this picture’s all I got.

might rod

Inbox shenanigans.

 

Picture 3

The 60s.

Picture 1

An ABSOLUTE NOVELTY!

 

Screen Shot 2012-10-05 at 2.38.23 AM

Photoshop boredom.

 

Picture 1

 

File:NumenLumen

Numen Lumen

accordingtomel

According to Melissa:

“YOU GUYS ARE MISSING OUT
WHOEVER MADE THIS IS BASICALLY THE INGMAR BERGMAN OF MUSIC FILMS”

Actual words in reference to Cher’s latest music video ‘Take It Like A Man’.

 

Free HD Wallpapers

Made for a pal.

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The wild reaction to Jeremy Scott’s Bart sweater set said less about enthusiasm for his aesthetic (which appears to be the brain of a 1995-era 13-year-old looking at a Delia’s catalogue, made real) and more about the still-rampant popularity of the Simpsons. The current ’90s’ obsession (and I say this in quotes as the younger set has somehow blinded themselves to the time’s prevalence of JNCOs and waffle knits)  and fondness for the Simpsons resulted in a perfect storm of want.

Bootlegs of the Jeremy Scott design likely hit the market seconds after its debut, and with Simpsons bootlegs themselves a time-honored tradition, it’s hard to begrudge their existence. Where formerly Simpsons bootlegs were 50/50 underrepresented groups using Bart as voice and icon/Chinese manufacturers seeking to capitalize any sudden burst of popularity with little understanding of the symbolism, today it’s a small sliver of all-too conscious designers carefully manipulating Bart’s odd combination of major corporate mascot and bad-boy outsider status to bolster their own credibility, and a LOT more of the Chinese-random-stuff-algorithm churning out goods in response to response.

A slight digression – it’s interesting to note the new wave of designers capitalizing on the Simpsons and what they’ve meant still hew mostly to Bart designs, with a few Homers and Milhouses thrown in. Homer’s too much of an adult for ‘the kids’ to appreciate his utter lack of responsibility to anything tied to being an adult (a later development in what Dead Homer Society refers to as ‘Jerkass Homer’). Milhouse makes sense as a newer development – he’s the outsider’s outsider even within the Simpsons world – second banana to Bart, too much of a nerd to be an underachiever, too much of a loser to join the other nerds. Still no focus on Lisa or Marge, as they represent the moral core of the show (pretty much the opposite of  beloved male irresponsibility fantasy stand-ins like Homer, Peter Griffin, Cartman, etc.), but I’m surprised there’s not more Maggie, as she would’ve been the age of many of the whippersnappers currently sporting this gear, was always somewhat of an enigma, and certainly in her Harpo way was another rebellious badass in the family.

Anyway. This is all a long-winded way of saying now that the Jeremy Scott sweater hype’s had a year or two to stew, the strange permutation bootlegs are finally coming up – copies of copies of copies made with no reference to the original, weird evolutions of imagery put out into the world. Behold:

Here’s a photo that I believe was used for reference, taken at an odd angle of the Bartman logo translated to knitwear…

Bart Sweater B

 

This photo from a magazine shows a bootleg of the bootleg, with jagged lettering and weird perspective…

bart sweater A

Note the wonkiness in the eyes…

Bart Sweater A

 

This same photo from earlier was used in ANOTHER sweater post, claiming THIS….

Bart Sweater B

 

…is the same sweater as THIS:

Bart Sweater C

 

Don’t get me wrong, this sweater certainly has its own weird charm, plus it looks like a drawing from Hyperbole and a Half. But it is DEFINITELY not a straight-up Bartman sweater. I can only wonder where the next mutation will go.

Bart Sweater C

 

Ned's New Master Bedroom

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I’ve been on a pixelated kick lately, digging up examples of early internet GIFs, Video Toaster screencaps, Game Boy sprites and After Dark screensavers. One file I’ve copied from PowerMac G4 to current laptop is a folder full of Simpsons icons, compiled by a website  so long dead its server host no longer exists. The icons are exhaustive, covering even the most obscure characters. Given the extreme gap in translation ability, they look to be the work of several hands and not a single artist. I actually like the ones that look like a 6th grader painstakingly put them together in MSPaint; their lack of shading, poor color choices and bizarre textures make them the folk art of the 90s.

 

Instead of flat orange/red, Bart’s shirt is Freddy Krueger-colored.

crappy bart

 

 

Here’s an example of the gap in ability I mentioned – two different ‘Bart from Treehouse of Horror III’ – note the use of shading, economy of space, and pleasing color scheme of the one on the right.

clockwork bart crappy clockwork bart

 

 

Possibly depicting Scratchy’s severed head instead of just a bust shot. I love the wall-eyes, gaped mouth and color scheme.

scratchy

 

Grandpa Simpson wearing 90s style Matrix sunglasses.

grandpa simpson

 

Troy McClure weirdly squished with Bob’s Big Boy checkered hair.

troy mcclure

 

Checkered Itchy; it looks like he has mousepox.

itchy

 

This Jimbo’s eyes and face are so wonky…there’s a decent Jimbo icon in the bunch, but this one’s more compelling.

jimbo

 

 

When I said these were exhaustive, they really went to the outer limits of obscure characters. These range from ‘Potentially Recognizable’ to ‘Why Would Someone Have That As A Desktop Icon’?

Worker from the lone ‘Worker And Parasite’ cartoon replacing ‘Itchy And Scratchy’ on Krusty’s show.

worker cat

 

 

The mutated laser-eyed squirrel from ‘Marge vs. The Monorail’

laser squirrel

 

 

MENDOZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

mendozaaaaaaaaaaa

 

 

Spinal Tap’s Half Inflated Dark Lord

our half inflated dark lord

 

 

Bart The Raven from ‘Treehouse of Horror I’

raven bart

 

 

Edward The Penitent: actually I might use this one as an icon. “I’m afraid ‘sorry’ doesn’t cut it with this Pope!”

edward the penitent

 

 

Llewellyn Sinclair – another appearance of Jon Lovitz as the director of ‘Oh, Streetcar!’

theater guy

 

 

Sideshow Luke Perry

sideshow luke perry

 

 

Neil Patrick Harris as Bart in ‘Blood on the Blackboard: The Bart Simpson Story’

bart simpson story

 

 

“You kids probably know me best as Sgt. Fatso Judson in ‘From Here To Eternity’!

ernest borgenine

 

 

Perennial kids’ favorite Garrison Keillor!

garrison keeler

 

 

Then there’s icons with no basis in Simpsons canon whatsoever, like this Klingon Homer,

klingon homer

 

…or Mad Scientist Bart,

mad scientist bart

…or Old Bart, though Older Bart has been shown several times, including as male stripper ‘Bang Bang Bart’ and Supreme Court Justice Simpson.

old bart

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Sites like Pinterest and Polyvore mostly bore me because pretty things bore me. Scary things? Gory things? Things so gloriously beauteous they’re painful to behold? Great! Sign me up. But ‘cute’ and ‘pretty’ are often synonyms for ‘safe’ and ‘inoffensive’, and after scrolling through pages of babies or puppies or cupcakes trying to find something of interest, everything blurs into a dull pastel smear and I just can’t pay attention. Polyvore’s even duller because the focus is fashion, wearable objects, and mostly ones from established designers. They’ve tricked the consumer into doing the heavy lifting of advertising, for nothing more than the possibility of ‘likes’ and ‘shares’ that just further advertise. I’m sure it’s lots of fun rearranging outfits; it’s the modern paper doll, but the only thing more boring than puppies is fashion, unless you’re reaching for Leigh Bowery levels of wearable art.

AND SO IT IS! A very small segment of Polyvore does indeed seem less interested in Kate Spade bags and cool points and far more interested in messing with the very concept of fashion as passive consumer purchase. Rebecca Jane Stokes’ ‘Get This Look’ series for The Hairpin is the ne plus ultra, with concepts outside the realm of ‘traditional’ inspiration which still lend themselves to some amazing outfits (the Hamburglar and Swans are two favorites).

GTL - Swan

Amazing, not just ‘pretty’.
 
Then there’s sets like this Itchy and Scratchy ‘outfit’, capturing inspiration without a single wearable item and completely circumventing Polyvore’s intended use:

itchy and scratchy

 

…Or this collage of ‘babies’:

All Babies Look Alike

 

User Frank Ocean’s turned arbitration of taste via outfit into personal confession with their sets:

sold my house todai ? ? ?

 

anger fucking management

 

eW MERLIN

 
Then there’s turning away from fashion as constant reinvention of self and embracing it as embodiment of beloved personality. Sort of similar to how fans of anime draw any/every character/historical figure/inanimate object into anime style, but less irritating. And how could you stay mad at these?
 

Untitled #653

 

Untitled #660

 

FCDC 12/50- Joel Robinson

 

FCDC 4/50- Mike Nelson

 
(That they made a set for both Joel and Mike made my week.)
 

Riff On This: The TORGO Collection

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