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Slouchy hats. Right now, they have achieved an omnipresence not seen since 1995′s Lollapalooza tour.


The sloppy chapeaus top celebrities, models, the fashionably disheveled, and their studied insouciance has infiltrated every college campus coast to coast. In other words, THEY ARE PLAYED OUT.

Who wants to be another floppy hat bobbing in a sea of oversized army green jackets and jeggings? The rest of this bitter season, why not stand out and prevent frostbite with a topper that’s the opposite of slouch? A jaunty little crown that perks up tall and proud and says ‘here I am world, looking vaguely like a winter milkmaid!’ I give you:


The Sports Tiara! (also a matching sweater).
I boldly predict tiaras are going to be next season’s Annie Hall hat for the ladies. Then tiaras will pass onto guys as princess cones become the ladies’ rage, and finally by the end of the Mayan Calendar both genders will be fully decked out in Miss World crowns spelling out the wearers’ names. IT’S IN THE CODEX, PEOPLE.

Seriously, stock up on sequins now.

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Aw, nuts. I was going to do a salute to the Men of Knitting, but didn’t have time to dig through my archives. Instead, I briefly proffer this snappy cardigan (the fellow on the left) for those who like their retro a tad more on the camp side. It’s less ‘sitting by the fire smoking a pipe’ and more ‘preparing to look cool in my glass boomerang-shaped house on the moon’.

Beehive Handknits for Men 01

True, it’s a little late to start knitting it up for this Sunday, but you can always surprise Dad in time Christmas!

Pipe Guy
‘Gee, that sounds swell!’

On a completely random note, here’s a group of people who dressed up like Ned Flanders, certainly a man who knows how to sport some knitwear:

We assumed the future would have more jet packs.

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