Look out vuvuzelas. You have more than met your match.
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Tags: greensleeves, noise, toys
A recent trip to the dollar store yielded a plethora of treasure, and by treasure I mean acres of bootleg toys from China with nonsensical writing and a grab-bag of fonts. I’ve typed them out below, not that it really helps understanding. What would be great is if someone could use the exact phrasings as song lyrics; some sort of pop ballad would work nicely, or maybe an uptempo motivational beat.
I AM SO GLAD
THAT WE MET
LET’S TRY TO BECOME
CLOSE FRIENDS
SHIRO PETTO
You’re my little snfel. Just having you
close fills me with love and hope
Nothing is impossible
with you by my isde.
I love you LiCH so.
MORPHEUS
Hello!
I WANT TO LOVE FOREVER TO
KEEP OUR WORLD TOGETHER
AND BE THE BEST FRIEND
THAT I CAN BE YOU.
SOME ANIMAL HAS SWEET HEART MORE THAN HUMANBEING
BEAR JUST FOR YOU
I miss you so much…
WOODS BRUIN DAYSTART.
WELCOME TO OUR LITTLE HAPPY WORLD
Cayman & Bird
The sun is bright and the sky fine.
On such a delightful day
May you feel forever young.
I hope I can gently bring you
Some pleasure and joy.
Wish you a happy everday!
Cheerio!
My nane is xiao ying.
I have a magic card.
It can help mysomething.
I VERY HAPPY!
Classic Bear
To pursue the perfection and nature,
to show the incomparable brilliant
Here’s a series of toys featuring everyone’s favorite, Indian Princess! No, wait, that’s the American Revolutionary War soldier she pals around with.
No, no, that’s her Viking friend. I’m glad they’re acknowledging the Viking arrival centuries earlier than originally thought.
There she is! And looking fabulously buff to boot in her traditional bright yellow v-neck minidress!
This UPC was found…
…on the back of this. It’s Alf! He’s back! In toy form.
While I’m referencing the Simpsons, get me Pringle’s non-union, Mexican equivalent!
For fairness’ sake I’d like to point folks over to Hanzi Smatter, a delightful collection of horrible kanji tattoos, ridiculous shirts, and terrible misuse of characters (so far my favorite is the young girl wearing a cute rabbit shirt with ‘ME PERVERT’ going down the side).
Tags: engrish, holler at the dollar, toys
We drove out to a restaurant near the Amana Colonies, a small religious commune founded in the mid-1800s and continuing today in the form of craft stores and historic shops appealing to tourists.
This ‘Lodge’ was across the restaurant; in the true econo-spirit they took down the full chain name and left the rest.
This nest of baby birds sat in one of the empty light sockets.
A homemade Amana stop sign.
Unless you are particularly jazzed about fibers or purchasing clothing with ‘Amana’ somewhere on it, I could see how the Amana wool mill would be dull. Unfortunately for everyone else with me I heart fibers, so I gleefully ran in and spent an hour watching the fiber-to-blanket videos and oggling the equipment. The blanket-making machinery was set up but not running, as it was the end of the day. Mill ends were available on cones, and I got three sea-blue cotton ones for $9. $9!
Later we took a trip to Wal-Mart. The Wal-Marts of the Midwest are larger than their coastal counterparts, including sections like ‘produce’ and ‘hunting equipment’ along with standards like ‘Gardening’ and ‘Crafts’.
Really?
This is an atrocity. Neither Transformer nor Mr. PotatoHead, it is such a blatant marketing shill it is sick to look at. Also, what child can look upon this and comprehend?
And that’s about it, really. Iowa is vast and lovely to look at. This is a pretty good example of what the commute looks like:
Well, lookit that, one of my videos was posted to the Mishka blog! You can check it out here or watch the video below:
I want to see the Dragon Warz taken to the STREETS this summer!
Also from the Mishka blog and badass shooting stuff on your arm comes Major Lazer,, either an excellent dancehall tune or an awesome toy commercial, though in modesty it refers to itself as Mad Decent.
Captain Midnight Decoder. The ‘S.S.’ stood for ‘Super Secret’.
Instructions for how to operate the Lone Ranger promotional Movie Film Ring.
A Dick Tracey ring with a secret compartment.
A vintage Roy Roger promotional six-shooter gun ring. This gun does not actually fire bullets, although there were spy rings that did. Also forks, umbrellas, and lipsticks.
Oui (yes, the men’s magazine) decoder ring. Why they created a decoder ring is beyond me, particularly as it was a promotional gimmick for a kid’s radio show.
a Sky King ‘television’ ring. The plastic top could be opened to replace the picture underneath. It’s cute they referred to it as ‘electronic television’-electricity was still wildly exciting back in the day.
Tags: decoders, super secret, toys
