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Soo, is the dog named ‘Bad Boy Mike’, and also a bad dog, or is ‘Bad Boy Mike’ the owner of the bad dog…?

This may be the best use of Photoshop I’ve ever seen. Who the hell needs a BUCKET of these monstro-wings?

This was on a bench inside a Jersey ShopRite advertising the wonders that could be done with your photos. They start with a wall-eyed kitten and….improve….it by putting it in a conch-shell planter! On a beach! The kitten still looks wall-eyed, and sort of sad! My own mother had to drag me away after I stood there laughing for 5 minutes, scaring people entering the store.

Also, I should probably wait until I actually set the thing up to announce this, but I hate Livejournal so much I can’t wait- as soon as my website’s up and running I am OUT OF HERE!!! Oh man, I despise LJ SO MUCH, from having to sign in next to the world’s dumbest questions (today’s was ‘On a scorching day, do you prefer the beach or an air-conditioned movie theater?’ If this actually cures writer’s block I hereby declare the cure worse than the disease) to the endless flamewars from myriad Russian posters over an image whose controversy I don’t know/care about (you are keeping me from reading hilariously sexist/racist advertising from the past, people!)

Yes, the day of cleansing will soon be upon us, whence I shall throw off the shackles of this particular blogging site and reorganize stuff so those who don’t give a deuce about knitting shan’t have to read it, and those who just want the free goods can easily get them without slogging through rants about Baby Boomers (ooh, don’t even get me started). And on that glorious day I shall post here triumphantly for the last time a LINK to the promised page. Woo.

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Um….what? Seriously, was this made on a dare? Val Kilmer and Nicholas Cage running around New Orleans, the latter having public sex with underaged hookers and doing piles and piles of drugs (mostly snorted)…exchanges like ‘get those fucking iguanas OFF my table!” “Ain’t no iguanas.”…from the director of “Grizzly Man” and “Stroszek”…did I mention it stars Nicholas Cage?

Some more random thoughts:
-Is anyone in this movie attempting a southern accent of any kind? I ask because I genuinely can’t tell from the trailer. It sounded maybeeee like Kilmer and Cage were…but not really.

-”Shoot him again. His soul is still dancing.” Breakdancing!

-the visual effects for the titles look cheesy, cheap, even. Is this because it’s a promo trailer or did they just not have a budget?

-I still haven’t seen the original ‘Bad Lieutenant’, so it’s not like there’s anything beloved in my memory to be tarnished. That aside, this almost seems like an R-rated episode of any given cop show on TV now.

I’m hoping this is a film of extremes- either it will be so bad it’s amazing (a la “Showgirls” or Nic Cage’s last howler, “Crazy She-Bitches of Honeybee Island” aka “The Wicker Man” remake), or perhaps good in some way I’m not seeing from the trailer. More likely it will be terribly terribly terrible.

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Take a moment and bask in this.

Firstly, it’s ShopRite presenting. That’s quality right there.

Then, it’s the 29th Annual. This is a bona-fide Tradition of the area.

It’s the next 5 words that come like quick slaps to the face: “Jewish Renaissance Fair…On Ice!” Yehuda, indeed. The ‘on ice’ bit will make the Fire Magic seem even more magical, or at least marginally more dangerous if it threatens ground stability.

I can’t decide if my favorite part is the “Kosher Cookie Monster” or “Free Skating!(Minimal Rental Fee)“. I think KCM wins, if only because it’s a battle royale between him, his friends, and the Local All-Stars (a self-defeating name if ever I heard one).

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