zombies

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Hey Everybody! I put off writing this movie up so I could do a well-thought-out, 50-cent word 10-page thesis, but clearly that didn’t work out, so it’s bullet-points instead. Let’s start with the obvious: this movie was fun! Not the deepest, most coherent comment on society, with a thin plot and plenty of loose ends, but still a genuinely enjoyable way to spend an hour and a half. Why? Oh, perhaps it was the rare joy of two young, attractive female leads who are somehow capable of having both personalities and self-defense skills at the same time (Kate Beaton and pals did an excellent comic showcasing what passes for ‘strong female leads’ in the movies nowadays).

Sure, they talk about boys, especially potential last guy on earth Hector (more on him later), but it ties back into their sisterly dynamic! Speaking of which, these ladies enjoy/have sex without too much guilt! UNPRECEDENTED! They’re unapologetically sexy (the scene where Samantha coyly says ‘Hiii!’ before kneeing a mall jerk in the groin is a perfect example), but SEXY is not the beginning and ending of their character description. It seems silly to be so giddy about what is certainly a B-grade apocalyptic flick with serious retro charm, but THERE ARE THAT FEW EXAMPLES OF DECENT LADIES IN THE MOVIES.

And though this film already has more decent ladies in it than all 3 Transformer movies put together, IT ALSO HAS CALAMITY JANE! AKA Mary Woronov, former Warhol Factory model, writer, painter, and star of numerous excellent (or if you’re into irony, “excellent”) films including ‘Death Race 2000′. Here she’s a scientist AND the lone voice of morality in a group of amoral nerds who survived the apocalypse!

Back to Hector, this film has another rarity: Ethnics! And not as broad stereotypes or zany sidekicks, but AS NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS. Though they did sort of highlight the importance of family to many Hispanic people when Hector risked life and limb to see if they were ok, that’s a far cry from having him shout ‘AIII NO ME GUSTA!’ while getting chased by zombie cops, something I strongly suspect would happen if say, Michael Bay were at the helm (see, Talking JiveBots). Also, a Japanese girl because, why not? EXACTLY. The ethnic makeup of LA is not solely tall blond interchangeable women, despite what casting would have you believe.

And finally, this film may be the finest example of gradual color filter use EVER. Don’t forget to check out this week’s film, ‘Uncle Boonme Who Can Recall His Past Lives’. I only have a small idea what it’s about, but I’m already sold on the concept of ghosts haunting people, not real estate. Silly American ghosts, with their fixations on property values.

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While searching BoingBoing,I came across a link to Hell Pizza, a New Zealand pizza joint with an infernal theme. Their website has cute lil’ demons trying to pitchfork your pointer finger, which you can pick up and toss at random, much to their dismay. They’ve got pizzas named after the 7 sins, and of course one called Mordor. I’m pretty sure it’s national law in New Zealand that something of yours has to be named after Lord of the Rings. The neatest part is their takeout box- it folds up into a wee coffin for your food’s ‘remains’. Just adowable, and demonstrating that New Zealandy inventive humour.

As I have a weakness for things zombie-related and particularly stupid internet quizzes, I found this one:

LiveJournal Username
The name of your zombie infested home town.
Your zombie killing weapon of choice.
How much do zombies scare you?
Oh noes!!11 A zombie! What do you do?
Blasting zombies left and right with a freaking twelve guage. What do you think? mort
Curled into a fetal position crying their eyes out. 0hedge0
Is pwning some zombies with Don’t Stop Me Now playing in the background. probertson
Is sitting at home watching CNN and eating ice cream. lizzerdrix
Get ripped to pieces by the zombies. Bummer. constantwhining
Is the zombie king who you must destroy to end the zombie menace. prynnesneedle
Number of zombies you decapitate. 468
Chances you survive the zombie swarm.
52%
This Fun Quiz created by Rob at BlogQuiz.Net

Aquarius Horoscope at DailyHoroscopes.Biz

Now, the interesting thing of note is that while I filled in my own answers, the quiz plucked names from my friends’ list and listed their responses to the inevitable ressurection. What’s strange is I believe they’re fairly accurate. Well, I’m pretty sure prynnesneedle would love being the Zombie King, and that getting ripped to bits is what constantwhining would expect anyway. And as probertson’s the fellow behind the outstanding ‘Pirate Baby’s Cabana Street Fight Battle 2006′, it’s just on the nose. When I changed my answer to ‘mace’, my survival rate jumped to 75%. Silly quiz! Everyone knows the last resort in fending off hordes of the undead is any form of hand-to-hand combat!

Back to food of the damned, I read an invective against figs that claimed they were the fruit Eve ate in the Garden of Eden, and since Jesus himself had damned them in this rather odd biblical passage from the Gospel of Mark:

“And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find anything thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves, for the time of figs was not yet. And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter forever.”

…figs were clearly the work of the devil. I found a lexicographer’s page offering a more comprehensive explanation of figs’ place in God’s universe. They’re on the up-and-up, almost a golden fruit, and the odd damning passage was a mistranslated double negative. All this talk of snack foods is making me hungry. Time to cook up some Hell Ramen.

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While scouring Boingboing.net I came across this link to the bizarre, as yet unreleased videogame Pirate Baby’s Cabana Battle Street Fight 2006. The titular Pirate Baby kidnaps your lady friend and you and your buddy have to battle your way through levels of zombie mayhem using karate and a baseball bat. Also occasionally your chubby friend, large, zombie chomping puppies, a 4 x 4 vehicle to mow them all down, and, when confronted with girlie otaku, a pointy-toothed cat that cuts them down with a chainsaw. HOLY CARP, they even have Walter from ‘The Big Lebowski’ coming in and screaming ‘YOU’RE ENTERING A WORLD OF PAIN’! Outstanding.

But wait, I haven’t even gotten to the zombies. They’re the usual mix of shambling dead, BUT THERE’S BABIES! Baby zombies you actually see bursting out of their naked, undead moms’ stomachs. This game must come to be.


cross-posted lovingly to zombie_survival

If you want to see the above animated, just head on over to its creator(Paul Robertson’s) livejournal.
The music’s pretty sweet(proggy is good), and I’m always a fan of tag-team video games. Does anyone remember ‘Beavis & Butthead’? They had a few levels where you’d have to work together, like in the hospital: one controlled the bed and the other hosing down enemies. If you won you got to see GWAR. My only complaint is that once again, the girl gets kidnapped and the dudes get to kick ass and take names. Boooring. Didn’t we learn anything from the Princess Peach game? She uses PMS as a weapon. Girl power indeed.

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I figured a story as bizarre as this needed as solid a source as I could find:

Man Shoots 6 At Zombie Rave

Really, no matter how blandly it’s phrased it can’t help but sound sensationalistic.

On a lighter zombie note, I was watching Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’, proof positive(along with ‘Animal House’) that John Landis is a genius. Further searching uncovered this imdb page all about Jackson’s ‘Bad’ video, one of the most enthusiastic and poorly spelled I’ve come across:

“Daryll, has gotten himself into a rough spot now. Wesley in particular is annoyed with Darryl. Befriending him, saying how he has forgotten who he is, “You aint down wit us no more, you aint bad!!”

All of a sudden its brighter, Darryl is surrounded by dancers and he is wearing tights. His hair is curly and to top it off he has allot of buckles. He dosent look bad, he looks ridicioulous.

And directed by Martin Scorsese, no less.

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